online quizzes arent real

diagnosis.

(tw: mentions of self harm and suicide attempts please be safe!!alsoo tell me if i write anything wrong,i might get some bits wrong)

jake slammed his laptop shut and fell onto his bed.taking that test was a bad idea ,it was just a stupid online test, their is no way he could really have a personality disorder,right? ,"jake?" miriam called out from his behind his door, "can i come in?" jake slowly lifted his head."yeah.." he replied sheepishly.miriam enterd his room and her face quickly turned into a soft concerned look. "are you okay?" she sat next to him on his bed "you seem upset again , is this about last night? do you want me too call tom?" he couldnt have tom knowing about his 'episode' as miriam called it."NO-im sorry- what i mean is-" he cut himself off and started crying into miriams arms."its okay jake.."she picked up his laptop to find something for him to calm down and saw the test on the screen.

"oh jake.. if you need to talk im always here" she patted his back,trying her best to reassure him."i-im fine its just.. what IF it is true and thats why tom has been ignoring my calls?" miriams face was complete pity, she got up and grabbed her phone."we can go and get you tested to make sure.only if thats what you want dear"jake just nodded,online quizzes are fake, whats the point in getting a diagnosis, he felt like he had to though,mainly for clarity."i know you've been searching up about things like this for a while,ever since tom left.."she spoke barely above a whisper.his face dropped into a sort of panic."h-how do you know?" he stutterd. "you tend to leave your computer open on the table downstairs.." she chuckled."i'll see if i can get you an appointment, it could take a while though.." she sighed putting her hand under her chin."thank you.." he mutterd hugging her tighter.

after a month and a half he was finally going to his first session. miriam sat with him to comfort him during the questions."now jake, do you take part in impulsive and reckless activities?" he answered truthfully. "i tend to believe people with no proof wich can mess up relationships.." he looked at the ground frowning, miriam noticed and realised what he was talking about instantly." okay i see.." the woman wrote down his answer carefully. "do you ever experience self harm or suicidal tendencies?" he glanced over to miriam who seemed scared for him "yes.." he muttered just loud enough for the therapist to hear. "jake.. you told me you had stopped.."  she seemed like her heart shattered. "im sorry." he started sobbing again. "this tends to happen a lot im sorry for anything this causes." the therapist, mrs kristal, tried to help them both. after what seemed like hours they where finally done with the first session."thank you for this ma'm" miriam  shook her hand.

a few weeks later they went back for the second session."thank you for coming back today,i would like to start by saying its very probable that jake has bpd.i have a few more questions i need to ask you but other than that,i think you'll be done!" she smiled at them.jake started shaking slightly,highly probable?although it wasnt certain hearing that its more likely then not made him start to cry 3 tears.he hid his face so both kristal and miriam couldnt see him.after an hour or two she asked the final question. "do you have any feas of being left alone or abandoment?" he thought about it for a moment."yes, yes i do." he looked down at the floor."okay, that should be all, we will send a letter through in 4 business days with your results." she smiled as they left going back to writing the email.

(time skip again, i love those)

the day he had been dreading for the last week was here.he was trying to find any excuse not to go downstairs. he knew the letter was here due to the loud bang from the letter box."JAKE!" miriam tried to call from the bottom of the stairs."YOU HAVE A LETTER"  he threw his head in his hands."COMING.." just loud enough for her to hear.when he went downstairs miriam was in the living room."i think you also know what this is.." she smiled, reassuring him that hes ok,she handed him the letter, tears trickling down his cheek as he read it. there is no way on earth he could seriously have bpd.thats not what the letter was , he just had to accept it now."jake, would you like me to try and call tom?i know he wont answer but i can try.."this could also be a great opportunity to apologise, he thought as he nodded.

miriam got her phone from the counter in the kitchen and started to dial in toms number. it rung once , then twice , then the sound of the answer button happened. "..hello?" tom spoke softly."tom?" jake shouted from the other side of the room, sprinting over."jake? miriam?" tom chuckled over the phone."its been so long, im sorry i havnt answered your guys's calls lately!" jake took the phone from miriam,"IM SO SORRY!!" jake cried. "for what?" he sounded confused."im sorry for how i treated you, how i believed ellie over you and how-" tom cut him off. "don't apologise, i should be apologising , i havnt called or seen you in 2 years nearly. i promised we could take it slow but we havnt moved a step.actually,are you busy? i was hoping we could speak in person, miriam can come too if she would like!" jake smiled at the thought of seeing tom again."yeah sure! what time?" his mood changing instantly."is 2 o'clock good?you can choose where we meet."
"yeah! of course!theres a new cafe that opened up near us , have you heard of it?"
"yup! the cafe amour right?"
"thats the one!" he laughed slightly.
"okay! ill see you there!" tom hung up the phone then approximately 0.3 seconds later jake spoke again."holy shit? he wants to see me ? again after 2 years!? miriam do you want to come?we can both catch up with tom-" miriam started to laugh at him."sorry, but i have to run errands, say hi to him for me though ok?" she smiled at him as he ran back upstairs to get ready.

sure, getting diagnosed with bpd made him feel like shit, but he would not miss this for anything, he loves tom more then anything.as much as he dosnt want to admit it, he knows tom wont want to be with him anymore but he was desperate.

(time skip again to 2 oclock , yolo)

"jake?" tom tapped his shoulder causing him to flinch."tom! hi , how have you been!" he wrapped his arms around him."ive been doing good, how have you been?"he replied as they sat down at the table."ive been doing, better.. miriam says hi!"
"tell her i said hi back, also , how come , has anything happened recently that has made you 'worst'?"
"well..before i tell you , do you promise not to get .. mad? at me..?"
"ofcourse not, unless you've killed someone-" he joked.
"no- i- i uhh.. i got diagnosed with bpd today.." he looked down twiddling with his thumbs."oh! dont worry, why would i hate you for that.." he patted his shoulder."im sorry i just thought you would of hated me for it.."
"no dont worry.." he chuckled. "actually i should admit something to you too.. the reason why ive been 'ignoring' you is because ive been scared, ive been scared you would reject me again."
"WHAT?well if we are being honest..i never stopped loving you.." he blushed as he looked back up at tom."jake i- i want to take things slow but last time i said that it didnt end as well.i love you too, i know its sudden and we havnt spoken in years but-" tom was cut off by jakes lips on his. "oh!" he said in suprisment."that was stupid im sorry tom-"
"dont be sorry jake" he held his shoulder,"i enjoyed it" be chuckled."well, can we start over then.. if you.. want to?" tom kissed him,
"im happy with that."jake blushed at toms gesture

(another time skip)

tom and jake where walking back to jakes house ,"maybe miriams home now, she wants to see you too!"he smiled. "oh yeah, hows she been then?" he asked as they reached the door."shes been doing great!"
"MIRIAM WERE HOME!"
"what do you mean we- oh tom! hello!how have you been i havnt seen in you in years!" she greeted him.her face giving a 'well done' look to jake."do you boys want a drink? anything to eat? i have vodka-"
"were fine, thank you tho!" jake laughed
"awh okay, now tomorrow what have you been up to?"

(thank you for reading! sorry if it didnt make any sense,please consider checking out my highschool au of them 🩵🩵)