Two Weeks and Two Days

Ambivalent.

​🇱​​🇺​​🇨​​🇾​.

Walking into her house was a strange feeling, y'know? My mind was immediately flooded with memories: of her, her house, her parents, and her cats and it made my heart ache from the inside out. It took me at least ten or so minutes before I could actually fully step inside.

One of my favourite memories with her was what we called the 'Twilight Night', which I thought was cringey but she thought it was cute so I never protested. It was the perfect time on a Saturday when both of her parents worked late, so I could come over and we had the whole house to ourselves. Usually, we planned every week during college on what we would do and I wouldn't miss it for the world. If she was sick, I'd still come over just to look after her. Most of the time, we'd watch movies with snacks and blankets. Sometimes, we would sit in her garden with an earphone in each ear and listen to whatever music we were into that day or some beats I had made that I wanted her opinions on. God, what I would give just to do that with her again one more time.

My mind began to wander the more time I spent, just standing at the front door taking in the sight of her colourless house in front of me. I tried to imagine how Alana was doing – I had only seen her go through death once and it was for this little pet fish her parents let her have after much begging. One of them little goldfish that was sold at carnivals that were only meant to last a week but she managed to keep the little guy alive for at least a year! Well, that was until she woke up and found him upside down in his tank. She came to school (she wouldn't mess up her attendance even if her leg was missing) with tears in her pretty emerald eyes and it broke my heart. I spent the entire day trying to make her smile, which luckily for me didn't take too long. I don't mean to sound vain but... if she spent a long time mourning over a carnival-won-goldfish, what would my death do to her? I dread to think about it, so I distracted myself by going further in, facing my fears and going towards her sofa that I had lounged on countless times.

It was only after a few minutes of float-sitting on her sofa that I heard this faint noise somewhere else in the house. The world was completely silent so despite it being muffled, it stuck out like a sore thumb it almost made me jump. I tumbled off the sofa and hovered upwards – which I believe I was a master at now – to make my way near the stairs. Even though I had no idea what was going on, there was this feeling telling me to go upstairs, a calling almost, like this little voice in the back of my head or a weird gut feeling. Either way, I was already insanely creeped out so I wanted to find the source of the noise and then get the hell out of dodge.

There it was again! The closest thing I could compare it to was almost whining, but as I cautiously made my way up the stairs, it got louder and less muffled and began to become clearer. My body felt a weird mix of emotions, which was weird because I didn't really have a body anymore. Yet, I could still sense the nervous shaking in my legs and my heart beating faster, even if my body didn't really... exist? It was almost like phantom limb syndrome or whatever it was called. This stuff messes with my head.

Again, the noise played as I reached the top of the stairs. The more I crept closer, the louder it got. It was becoming more audible but not enough for me to make out what it was. Almost like an echo, but I didn't have time to think about it before I was outside Alana's room.

I took a deep breath in as I hovered just outside the door for a minute. I still had this pulling feeling in my chest, but the noise played again before I could even think about opening or phasing through the door. Clear as day, a loud 'meow' echoed throughout the house, muffled only by the door I was looking at.

Holy shit.

That meow – it was distinct and strangely familiar. It was high-pitched and although loud, it had a soft side to it. If I hadn't been Alana's friend for so long, I wouldn't have immediately recognised with only one sound that it was Pudge, her cute but fat ginger cat. My mind seemed to blank completely as I stormed into the room, as fast as I could. Did this mean Pudge was... dead?! Even though that would suck, it would mean I had a friend in this godforsaken wasteland. However, even that isn't worth how upset Alana would be if one of her cats passed away. She loves those cats more than she loves herself! Well, I have to agree, they are pretty cute cats. Me and Alana often pretended they were ours rather than hers and 'kinda' her parents too.