Two Rejects

To Confess or Not to Confess?

The weekend was almost over, it was so good to spend time with Nick I simply couldn't see myself ruining it by confessing to him. It felt like we haven't spent some quality time together in ages.
Nick and I barely left the house since Friday, after eating on the restaurant we bought some groceries and stayed home all the weekend.
That Sunday afternoon, after lunch, we were sitting on the couch quietly watching a movie, Nick had his head on my lap, and I was running my fingers through his hair. He has soft, dark, neck length hair, it was so good to play with it, my hand would smell like his shampoo. Nick was so attentive to the movie, and I was just staring at him, how he's dark blue eyes would widen when something scary happened in the movie; how he's perfect jawbone moving up and down when he chewed the popcorns; his long and pretty fingers, his pale skin, and his pretty lips.
I think I spent more time looking at his lips, imagining how sweet they would feel if we kissed. I blushed and released a small giggle just by the thought of it.

-"What is it?"
-"What?"
-"You were laughing, did I miss something?"
-"No, it's nothing, I was just thinking out loud."
Nick sat straight on the couch and turned his face to me.
-"Tell me what is it"
-"Nick is nothing really"
-"I don't believe you. Do I have a pimple" he asks as he run to the mirror.
-"You never had pimples, why would one appear now that you're all grown?"
Nick walk back to the couch and put his head back to my lap, but this time he was looking up at me.
-" I was just thinking about home, how everything has changed so fast, our time in high school, our family". I lie, I couldn't tell him that I was fantasising about kissing him.
-"You miss home too?"
-" Of course I do, it just feels a bit better because I have you here"
-" And I will never leave you, not even if you want me to, things feels easier when you are around, so don't worry I'll protect you from everything and everyone who mess with you"
-"Just like you did back in High School?"
-"Yeah"
-"But you know I  went through all that trouble because of you. Those girls were crazy about you"
-"Blame my parents for making me this handsome." He laughs, but stops immediately after seeing my facial expression. -" I'm sorry Al, I tried my best to let them know you were not the one to blame, because we weren't even dating"
-"They didn't care about that, it got worse when you actually dated a girl, instead of just bullying me, they laughed at me"

Nick sits up and hugs me really tight. That was so unexpected and sudden that my heart started racing and I started lacking for air. Nick release me from the hug and held my hands. I realise that he really feels bad for all those things. But I honestly do not blame him or hate him for that, not only because he was my best friend, or because I had feelings for him, I low-key enjoyed having the most popular and pretty girls feel jealous of me because I was the closest person to Nick.
-"I'm really sorry Al"
-" It's alright Nick, you know I don't blame you  for that." He smiles, and I smile too, I didn't mean to have him feeling bad for that. -" But, if only you were a little bit uglier, my life would have been smoother".
Nick start laughing really hard.
-"That can't do. Oh right, I've always wanted to ask, do you remember the day I presented you Christina?"
-"Of course, how can I forget that, I was surprised to see someone actually dating you"
-"Haha, funny! I remember you wanted to tell me something, but we got caught up with Chris I totally forgot, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

My heart start racing, my cheeks and ears feel very hot. Is this my chance to confess to him? Was this the right moment? I release my hands from his because I was starting to sweat, Nick is just there waiting for me to say something.
This is it, this is the moment of true.

-"I'm surprised you still remember that. That day I asked to see you because I wanted to say that I..."

I'm interrupted by the vibration of his phone on the table , he looks at it and pick it up to see who was calling. He does not answer it, and he looks back at me.

-"You're not picking up?"
-" It's just Ben, I'll  call him later. You can carry on"
-"Oh, alright. Well I asked to see you that day because I had to confess that..." Nick's phone start vibrating again. -"Maybe is something important, go ahead and answer it".

Nick stands up and walk to the kitchen. I take a deep breath and lay down on the couch. Was this maybe a sign that I shouldn't do this? The weekend was so good I didn't want it to end.
Nick walks back in the living room and sees me laying down, he walks towards me and kneel in front of me.
-" Wanna go out?"
-"What?"
-"Ben just called and he wants me to meet him and some other guys at this Karaoke place."
-"Are you going?"
-"I'm only going if you come with me, we stay if you don't feel like"
-"But I don't know anybody there, just you, and I've just talked once with Ben"
-"That's alright, you know my teammates and there are other people I also don't know"
-"I don't know Nick, you go it's fine, I'll be alright."
-"Come on, we won't take long, and by the time you start feeling uncomfortable we leave."
-"You promise?"
-"Sure, plus, you said you wanted to make friends. Ben said there are some girls there"
-"yeah right."
It took us 15 min to get ready, it was fall season, but the weather was starting to get cold, I decided to wear some jeans and a cropped shirt, a teddy jacket and some sneakers, I tied my hair on a high ponytail and went down to find Nick, who was already ready when I walk down the stairs, he was waiting in the kitchen drinking a cup of water, he was wearing white sneakers, black jeans, a dark blue shirt and a black bomber jacket.
As soon as he saw me he gulped all the water at once, and grabbed his car key.
-"Ready?"
-"Yes."
-"Great, let's go"
I was nervous to meet and be around a lot of people, specially at a Karaoke, they will probably be drinking too. I just hope they don't make me sing. I was overthinking all the way there, and nervous not only because of going there, I was thinking about the conversation I was having with Nick earlier.