* The House to nowhere *

So Hard to breath

while living in this house is a little hard at times, she feels like she has begun to get used to the things in the house. Sometimes it can be much, and it can get hard to breathe. She was so done trying to get along with this thing. the thing had stopped being as violent as before like it was giving up just like her. They were both so tired of fighting and they both had things in their life that they were confused about. Cyrus is wondering why he isn't with the love of his life. why did he have to be stuck alone in a house with a random girl he had been stuck with for 2 months? He was so done with everything and he didn't know what to do with himself. all he does is leave her alone and sit in the room that had once been his and his husband's bedrooms. he would sit where the bed used to be and remember the countless times he would just read a book and lie there. He missed those good times. Lilian on the other hand was just trying to understand herself lost in herself not knowing what she was going to do with herself if she couldn't survive living there. she could barely survive with herself thinking of every moment that she wished she could have changed what had she done to deserve this?

she could go on forever about how unfair life was and how much she wanted to be a different person and wished she had never existed in the first place. Wishing that she could have stopped herself from being so foolish to believe she could have done this in the first place. Her thoughts of not being enough were correct she should have gone home while she had the chance. Maybe she could have gotten a job in her town earned money and gotten a small apartment but no she had to convince herself that she was good enough to be a writer they don't even make that much money what was she ever thinking in the first place. she wished that she could have stopped herself from going threw the embarrassment of the people she had so proudly told that she was becoming a writer. she should have gotten a job had a hobby of playing the clarinet and given up on those childish desires and went home with her tail tucked between her legs.

enough of what she should have done she has learned to imbrase her mistakes and learn from them and now the house feels emptier than before. She kinda missed her stuff being thrown around she wonfered what happend and why it had stopped. she started to talk around the house like there was someone there with her and sometimes she swore someone was lisening. it had been a long time since she thought someone might actually be lisening there usually to caught up with themselves they don't care enough to listen to her anyways so she just learned to keep her mouth shut. she tried to stop talking as much and wanted to be quiet so much but she had so much to say that she wanted to change herself. she tried so hard but failed darn her and her big mouth that could never stay shut there are so many things she wants to change about herself that somtimes she cant take it. she wanted to go somwere far away and never be seen again