Soul Regret

Soul Regret2

Ohhh dear god, after reading though this I'm really questioning my sanity, it's so embarrassing, this story is as close to a 'shojo' story as my foot but it still has its odd moments.... (seriously what was I thinking?!?!) ahh well. I wrote this years ago so I'll just use that as a crappy excuse as to why it's so dreadful. I'm sorry for crappyness... :/ I tried my best at the time..

It's a one shot, so no more chapters after this one.

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Of all the things in the world I could regret, of everything I wish I could take back and undo so that they never happened, of all the pain in my life that I have experienced, I would double, no, triple it just to take back what I had done. Even if it meant that I would suffer a life of misery, I would do it just to turn time back - but wait, that was impossible as I already lived in a life of misery and nothing in the world could possibly triple, or even double the pain that dwells inside of me, like an empty whole gnawing at my insides. I would die for it to be that it had never happened, and death would be a fine punishment for what I have done, no more pain, no more hate, and no need to run and hide, even from myself. But that would be unfair, it would bring no justice to what I did, why release me from the pain, whilst others still suffer, they (though it seems weird) deserve death more than I do. That wasn't fair, but then again, neither was life. But its to late for fairness, my decision is already decided.

My whole life changed because of four loud, urgent thumps on my door. I had been in my room when it had happened. My room was just as messy as it usually was, which matched the rest of my small flat I lived in. I gazed out of my window trying to see through the thick dust that clouded my vision and made everything look disorientated, I tried to ignore the smell of mold that climbed up the length of my window pane, and peered intently down at the view of the rainy outdoors and the squelching mud. I opened my window and leaned my head out to get a better view, but the coldness took me by surprise and I blinked the raindrops out of my eyes as they splashed my face and soaked me though,I leant back inside and closed my small bedroom window. I stayed like that for awhile longer, but the sound of the rain on my window and the wind howling outside, shaking the leaves on the few trees there were, slowly got the better of me.

I was dozing of at my desk, my thoughts elsewhere and my breathing slow and even. Until, that is, when four loud knocks hammered on my door like someone trying to break in, echoing around the flat and reverberating against the walls, making it sound more like a dozen thumps rather than just four. I was shook out of my revere like a fish out of water; my heartbeat became equivalent to the drumming of the down-pour outside. I sprinted downstairs,past my neighbours, skipping two stairs at a time. I reached the door at the end of the hall in what seemed like no-time at all, I could have been standing there all the time, just waiting. I wrenched open the stiff door and a woman burst in, she was red faced like she had been running for a long time and she was panting so hard I thought the walls would shrink every time she breathed in. Then she collapsed and I wasn't expecting it so she just fell to the ground with a thud. I dragged her around into the living room, being careful of her now bruised head and draped her onto the sofa, her wet cloths soaking the cushions and fabric. I didn't know her but I seemed to need to help her just as much as she needed my help.

She woke up about half an hour later with a glass of water beside her on a small wooden table; she took the glass gratefully and drank the lot. I sat down on the wobbly, wooden chair opposite her, she looked at me and thanked me for the water, that was the first time I saw her properly, now that she was not soaking wet with matted hair and closed eyes: she was fairly pretty, she had silky black hair as dark as night that ran all the way along the length of her back and deep, emerald green eyes that shone in the light. Her skin was so pale that she looked ill and almost ghostly, but her slim face glowed with health. She asked me what my name was and it shocked me for realising that we didn't even know each others names yet, because it felt like I had always known her. I replied with no hesitation, and she repeated my name slowly, and the way she pronounced it made it sound like a foreign language.