song ~ wicked game chris isaak
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MY SOUL LONGED FOR SOME sort of adventure, a new place, with new people.
So I left.
I left my old dark apartment in the back of an alley in New York, to go and live with George. George was my cousin; but he felt more like a brother to me. Growing up as the oldest sibling, I could only imagine what it would be like to have an older brother. But when I had George all the imagining and wondering seemed to stop. He was my family, much more than my parents could be or will ever be.I couldn't stand the miasma that surrounded the city I once lived in.
Tourists, litter and rats, the smell of the mould and the damp, the repulsive smell of drugs not far away from the spell of alcohol and sick. I forced a smiled on my face. Which we all know, was my safety net. And would be when I wasn't with the people who I trust. Which at the moment only consists of George, Carmen, Toto, Susie, Jack and Lewis. My little Mercedes family.
And it would stay that way until I could focus on myself enough to be able to open up little bits of myself to others.
My life wasn't bad, I'm lucky. I get to work at a Library and teach people who didn't get the chance to learn things, the things they may need. But I didn't enjoy it as much as I would using my degree.English Literature and Philosophy at the University of Oxford.
I loved it in Oxford, looking back I'm not sure why I was so excited to move away for New York. George knew I had wanted to use my degree to my advantage, so he and the rest of my little family decided that we would look for jobs that I could start after I got settled.
They all knew I struggled, but something I struggled with more was letting them in. So instead of pushing me to talk, they waited.
As I sat in the seat of that Aeroplane flight to Nice, I felt a pang of guilt, I left it all behind in New York. But I left that part of me back in that city.
YOU ARE READING
I can do it with a broken heart || CL
FanfictionA broken heart, that's what Dorothea has. She hides her sadness, a smile on her face, bright laughter and happiness surround her in public. But he can see right through that. Will he avoid her like the plague, or will he help her?