BL

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     July 14th. That was the day we met. The day I would never change. It didn't start out great, I'll admit, but it ended amazing.
     The beginning of the day was all screams, yells, throwing and punching things, or someone. Mainly me, it always happened it be me. Was it just because I was closer, or was it because he felt like it. Whatever the reason he had it doesn't matter, not anymore. It's been years since I last seen my father, and I think you for that.
     I remember meeting you for the first time. The air was cold, with a sweet smell of cinnamon, I could see your breath. Your deep golden brown eyes stood out against your dark features. Your dark brown hair, dimples and dark freckles. You stopped me from doing that thing no one should have to do.
      I remember the first words you said to me. "Don't give up, keep fighting"
    I thought you were just trying to get me off the edge of the bridge but your eyes said otherwise. You were struggling on your own, the pain in your own eyes resembled mine. Like you wanted to get up on the edge of the bridge with me and take that leap of faith. But you couldn't, something kept you grounded, something kept you here, something kept you wanting to stay on this terrible planet.
    I didn't have anything that made me want to stay alive, that was, until I met you. You made me want to live again, love again, you made me a want to stay alive. And I'll be forever thankful for that, but now it doesn't matter what I want, I'll be gone in a few hours. 
    I remember how our first kiss felt, tasted. It was the best thing you could ever imagine, that wasn't because it was our first kiss, it was because it was with you. I'm sorry I wish I had more time, more time to explain everything I felt, everything I am feeling now, but I don't. I don't want you to remember the bad times, I don't want you to get stuck in live, I want you to move forward. Find someone new to love, just like you found me. Find a person that makes you feel like I feel with you. Happy, worth something, hope, trust, love.
      Now to explain what this letters really for, I'm dying. Cancer, stage 4. I'm surprised I kept it a secret this long, but it won't be a secret no longer. I'm leaving tonight, so you won't have to find my body. Leave that for someone else, I don't want you to have that memory of me. I want all of our memories to be the ones we made, not the ones I left. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, and I'm sorry I didn't try harder to fight it. I'm sorry that I'm leaving you.
     Stay strong and I promise I will always look after you. I'll be like your guardian angel, I won't let anyone hurt you, not ever again.
      So one last time, Ethan Alster I love you.
  Love,
             Matt.

      "Hey Matt whacha doing?" Ethan teased
  I wiped the tear that fell from my eye before he got the chance to see. I felt a ping in my chest, a tightening of a rope, a rope that wanted to strangle me. The rope that would end up ending me.
    "Just writing you a letter" I smiled "but you have to promise you can't open it until tomorrow"
    He looked confused as he nodded his head okay. "I promise I won't open it till the morning" he paused "aren't you going to visit Alley tonight?"
     "Oh yea, I've leaving soon, I just wanted to spend more time with you"
     A giant smile appeared on his face as he leaned into a hug. He placed a soft kiss on my lips, that is one of the last kisses I ever received. I remembered his hand traveling to my neck as my body went limp and fell to the floor. Guess I underestimated my time, sorry you had to see this Ethan. I promise you it didn't hurt, I couldn't feel anything, the pain was already numb to me anyway. Just like everything else was except you.
    "I love you" I barely made out as it all went dark, silent. I'm sorry.