your hand in mine - pt. iii ☽ michaeng

3.5

"Alright, well," Chaeyoung clears her throat. "I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah," is Mina's short, almost shy answer. They've been standing in her hallway for about half an hour now – Chaeyoung insisted on seeing her to the door. 'It's late, and your hallways are dark,' Chaeyoung told her evenly. Mina only hummed in agreement, deciding against pointing out the obvious.

It's just as hard for Chaeyoung to say goodbye as it is for her.

She glances down and then back at Chaeyoung's face, lightly biting her lip. She knows she's shamelessly flirting. Judging by the way Chaeyoung's breath catches in her throat, she doesn't particularly mind. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

Chaeyoung's smirk is small, but it speaks volumes. "You know we won't stop at tea, Mina," she says quietly, and her eyes are vibrant. "Especially not right now."

"Oh?" Maybe she should cut it out. Probably. But it's been so long since she's felt comfortable teasing Chaeyoung like this; since Chaeyoung allowed her to get this close to tease her. It's – exhilarating. "And what's so special about right now?"

"Not after what you've told me outside Dr. Kwon's office," Chaeyoung clarifies. Her voice drops even lower. Just like the shivers down Mina's back. "Unless…" She trails off, searching Mina's face. Not for the first time, Mina finds herself wanting to cave so, so badly. She suspects Chaeyoung's perfectly aware of the effect she has on her. She's just not aware she's using it to her advantage sometimes.

And that's the thought that makes Mina pause, and think, and take a small step back. It doesn't stop a wistful sigh from falling, though. "Dr. Kwon is right," she says. "We're not… we're not there yet."

Images of Chaeyoung – quickly, roughly, gently, persistently, unsurely – pushing her hands away whenever she's wanted to touch her, to feel her, flash through her mind, and she swallows the bitter lump in her throat. I don't want that to happen, and I have a feeling that's exactly what's going to happen if we were to – and I'm so tired of feeling empty.

The gentle, sad curve of Chaeyoung's mouth lets her know she's thinking the same thing. "I'm sorry," she whispers, "for being so… forthcoming."

"No, no, I understand," Mina quickly interjects. "Trust me," she lets out a humorless chuckle. "I get it."

Chaeyoung's smile is muted. "Right." She surprises Mina by slowly reaching out and taking her hand in hers. "I… I wish I could say we're already there," she says, looking up at her and finding her eyes with her own.

"I know." Mina's overcome with this sudden want to reassure her, and so she does – or at least tries to, stepping closer to her and taking her other hand. Smoothing her thumbs over her knuckles. Chaeyoung does that a lot to her. It feels good to reciprocate. "It's okay to need time, Chaeng. And space, too. If you–" she swallows, again, because the words will never get less painful to get out but – but. "If you ever need to… take a step back, I want you to feel comfortable with sharing that need with me. And I'll understand. I promise you, Chaeyoung."

"Okay." She knows Chaeyoung wants to tell her that no, she won't need that anymore, but at this point, it would be a lie. Mina watches Chaeyoung take a deep breath, and feels her squeeze her hands. "It's enough, you know," she tells her then, smiling more with her eyes than her lips. "Your promise. It's – enough."

And Mina hears everything Chaeyoung doesn't say. I'm getting closer to trusting your word, Chaeyoung's eyes tell her, and they are filled with wonder, as if Chaeyoung herself is only now discovering that. Perhaps, she is.

Mina nods, and leans into Chaeyoung, resting her head on her shoulder and smiling when she feels Chaeyoung's arms slowly entwine her waist. "I don't want you to go," she confesses quietly into Chaeyoung's jacket, inhaling her scent. Leather mixed with soft, barely-there cologne and Chaeyoung.