Miss Ortega: Winter Semester (F/F, College AU, 18+)

CHAPTER 1: Merry Christmas, Baby

surprise, pookies ;)) don't expect super frequent updates for now but, without further ado...

"Suspended indefinitely."

The grave words have been on repeat in Jenna's mind since they first hit her ears in that harrowing echo that made her heart and world stop. She knows things could've been worse - worlds worse - but this outcome still wasn't favorable by any means. She's never been in trouble like this before, and though it wasn't at the hands of her affair with Y/n, that didn't make it hurt any less. Being suspended was one thing, but indefinitely? That meant that her career still hangs in the balance, threatened by the scrutiny of the school board and if they see her fit to continue teaching. 

Jenna was consumed by the debilitating uncertainty of it all, evidenced by the way she hadn't been able to eat, sleep, or generally take care of herself over the past week since she first received word of the heart-stopping news. The new year and new semester were right around the corner, and where she should've found solace in new beginnings and exciting opportunities, Jenna found nothing but sorrow and remorse. She didn't regret her involvement with Y/n, of course - in fact, the girl was her only beacon of light during these dark times - but she couldn't help but feel that if she had just reported Devon's abuse as she was supposed to, then this whole situation could've been avoided. She could've dealt with Y/n's initial anger that would've come with betraying her wishes to not escalate the situation, but this - this was unmanageable, and Jenna was at a complete loss, more unsure of herself than ever before. She was stuck in the binds of not being able to do anything about the cards that were dealt to her, and being so helpless had her feeling so small, and inferior - both things that she'd spent most of her life and career being sure not to be. 

On top of her own guilt, Y/n was eating away at herself with feeling like she should carry the blame, and that only made Jenna feel worse. Y/n was a victim in every sense of the word, and there was no way she could've known how to properly handle all of this. But Jenna knew better, should've done better - yet she didn't. So now here she was, practically jobless and caught in the crossfires of a possible legal pursuit against Devon, and there was nothing she could do about it besides wallow over her many missteps and skewed decisions. 

The only light at the end of this tunnel was Y/n, and how Jenna was granted permission to be in contact with her again given how they weren't found guilty of an affair. That didn't mean that they weren't still under close watch, however, and on top of the uncertainty of her own future, Jenna had no fucking clue what the next step was with the girl. With her suspension, she had nothing but time to think about it, but she always drew a blank; no choice felt like the right choice. 

Continue sneaking around, acting as if nothing ever happened?

Break things off, and release both herself and Y/n from the shackles of the potential trouble that loomed over them?

Quit her job entirely, and sacrifice her beloved teaching career and reputation for a chance at liberation with Y/n? 

Jenna's reeling thoughts are interrupted by Vienna's relentless barking, a signifier that someone must be at her door. Her brows furrow as she doesn't budge from under her duvet, feeling confused as she wasn't expecting any guests. She almost told Y/n to come see her when she returned from her visit home - she needed the girl's presence right now more than she needed air - but with the tension of the situation still so high, Jenna reluctantly insisted that she didn't; at least for now. And so, Jenna drowns out Vienna's barking, her energy too depleted to get out of bed, anyway. Instead she turns up the volume on the horror flick that she wasn't even paying attention to, hoping that the visitor would get the message that she didn't want to be seen right now.