Remember me?

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Slowly, I opened my heavy eyelids and allowing the bright light to flood in. My entire body felt numb and my eyes were struggling to stay open, there was low murmurs and anxious voices all around me.

"Is she waking up?"

"Look dad, she's okay."

"What do we tell her?"

"Will she remember anything?"

I fumbled around, attempting to sit up, my droopy eyelids still half closed. The numbness I felt at first was beginning to disappear and was replaced with a sore, aching feeling in all my muscles. I attempted to sit up but two firm hands pushed me back down muttering things in panicky voices, only then did I realise there was half a dozen wires and plastic tubes attached to my arms and my stomach. "Tegan can you see us?" the voice seemed to come from no where and it was just as unfamiliar as the name. My eyes finally opened to reveal several people standing around me, two of them looked like doctors or nurses, I seemed to be in a hospital, I had no idea who the rest of them were.

"Tee, thank god you're okay." a middle aged man said throwing himself towards me and hugging me tightly. I quickly pushed him away feeling confused and kind of guilty, when he stared back at me looking hurt. The two doctors exchanged a concerned look which sent nervous shivers down my spine. "Mr Carlson, I think if you and your son would kindly leave me and Dr. Cline with Tegan for a short while, there's tests and things we need to go over." One of doctors said opening the door, It read Dr Drake on his name tag. The man's face dropped completely until he looked so miserable it made me want to cry. "Oh okay." He replied. As soon as Mr. Carlson and his son had left the room the two doctors looked over at me with a serious expression and one of them got out a clipboard and a pen, I could tell something was very wrong.

"What do you remember?" Dr. Cline asked me. I looked back at them, puzzled. "From your childhood, or your friends at school, or your parents names, what happened yesterday or even just what you had for breakfast? Do you have any memories at all? Don't worry if you can't think of anything at first." Dr Drake said smiling, it sounded like a rehearsed speech he had said many times before. I tried hard to think about... anything. I couldn't think anything. not a single thing. Not my parents names, not my friends from school. My mind was completely blank, it became slightly frustrating as my head hurt and I concentrated so hard just trying to think of how old I was. What was even my name? Tegan. That's what the Man who tried to hug me had said, oh my god, who was he? Was he family? Was he my dad? And his son? Was he my brother? He looked about 5 or 6 years old, he had brown hair and what colour was his eyes? I hadn't been paying attention. What was his name, should I know?

"Anything. For example what is your age?" Dr Cline asked, showing no expression on his face. I opened my mouth to answer, nothing came out. What was my age? My face flushed red with embarrassment. In any other situation they might have thought I was slow or dumb and it might have just been a really embarrassing moment and then I would remember and everyone would laugh awkwardly. But it seemed to be a lot more serious when you had just woken up in a hospital and two doctors were staring at you with worried eyes and clipboards in their hands. "I don't know." I confessed. They both scribbled down something on the paper on their clipboards and then Dr Cline lifted over a chair, put it next to where I was and sat down.

"Your name is Tegan Carlson, you are 17 years old, your parents names are Jane Carlson and Mark Carlson, you have three-" Dr Drake put his hand on Dr Cline's shoulder and shook his head dismissively. "One sibling named Thomas Carlson." Dr Cline explained. They both looked at each other unsure of what to say next. In an odd way I felt slightly sorry for them, how do you tell someone their entire life so far? I looked down at my wounded limbs, "And what am I doing here?" I asked. They stood frozen, staring at each other, completely clueless at how to answer my question. I guess whatever happened must have been bad.

"There was a-" began Dr Cline. Dr Drake shook his head. I felt a terrible feeling burning in my stomach, what happened which was so bad they couldn't tell me? "A car crash." Dr Drake quickly said before Dr Cline could speak again. Dr Cline looked at him in disgust. Was Dr Drake lying? It seemed like he was. "I'm going to go and talk to your dad now." He said leaving. "Why am I really here?" I asked Dr Cline. He looked back at me, unsure. His expression kept changing, as if he was debating whether to tell me or not. "Tegan, there was a-" I looked back at him expectantly, "A mass killing involving your classmates." he said to me. "What do you mean?" I asked, feeling even more confused. 

His face became even more serious and stern. "You and your classmates were part of-" the door opened and Mr Carlson walked in. I mean my dad walked in. Dr Cline had to leave to go and deal with another patient, leaving me with Dr Drake and the man who appeared to be my father. Drake placed a pile of photographs on his lap and then looked up at me with another of his practised smiles. "Okay Tegan, we are going to go through some photographs, some are from your childhood and some from more recently. Don't worry we are not expecting you to remember the people in the photos or the places, we are going to through each photo with you, but if you remember something or already know something we tell you please let us know." He said. My dad looked like he was falling apart, his eyes were watery and his expression looked held back, as if he was trying his best not let what he was feeling show. 

Drake held up a photograph, it was a picture taken by the seaside of Mr Carlson when he was about ten years younger, a woman with long blonde hair, who also looked in her twenties and a small girl who looked a bit like me. They were all grinning happily at the camera, even though it looked cold as the sky was grey and full of rain clouds. Well we are in Britain, I laughed silently to myself. "So this is your dad as you can probably tell," He said pointing to the younger Mr Carlson "and this is your mother Jane," he continued pointing to the blonde woman "and this is you- ten years ago of course." he said pointing to the little girl with dark black hair and blue eyes. I nodded and sighed to myself silently as I realised how big the pile of photographs was, it was going to be a long day.

He went through a few photographs in the same way, pointing at people, explaining who they were, how long ago it was and then what was happening in the photo. All the time I felt empty and blank, it felt like I was looking through someone else's memories. Then he held up a photo of me and two other girls in school uniform. A sudden strong feeling of misery shot through me as I painfully recognised the girl with curly, blonde hair. I didn't know her name or who she was, but as soon as he held up the photo of her I saw the blonde girl crying in pain. She was smiling cheerfully in the photo, but in my sudden memory she was crying and I was desperately trying to comfort her, but she continued to cry. Where were we? At school. Yes. We were wearing identical pleated school skirts and shirts and jumpers, no I was wearing the school jumper she was wearing a denim jacket, why was that? I smiled as I remembered, yes that was it, she had said she was too cool for the school jumper.

But, wait no. We weren't at school. We were in a field, maybe it was a school trip. The memory seemed so vivid. I could see her so clearly. Her crying wouldn't stop. Oh my god. Her stomach was all cut up, there was crimson red blood all over the floor, it was horrifying. What was it she kept saying? "I thought I was your friend." she kept repeating it over and over in a hoarse voice. There was something else. She said something else too. Her suffering voice became clearer suddenly and I could hear her as if she was still here next to me. She said "Why did you do this to me Tegan?"

I suddenly snapped out of the flash back. My hands wouldn't stop shaking and I caught a glimpse of my petrified self in the mirror opposite, there was tears flooding down my cheeks and my whole face was pale with fright. "What's wrong?" my dad asked, reaching forward as if to support me and then remembered he was a stranger to me and retreated back to his place. I looked back at the photo. My arm was around her shoulders and hers was around mine, we were both smiling so happily. Then I thought of her sickly face full of anger as she cried out in pain. She said I had done that to her.

"Nothing." I lied. "Nothings wrong, I'm just overwhelmed with all this new information. But if I'm well enough to go home, could I please because I really I think I would understand and remember more in my house." Drake and Mr Carlson stared back at me in shock. "Are you sure?" Drake asked. What would a suffer of amnesia say which would sound like they were recovering? "Yeah, the hospital is really creeping me out and even though I don't remember dad and Thomas they seem really familiar and those photos reminded me of a lot of memories after you went through them." As soon as it left my mouth it sounded completely fake. Drake seemed convinced though. "Well you're physically well and if you think your house would be a more comfortable environment, then there isn't any advantages of keeping you at the hospital."