Someday

Someday is the time we all live our lives to the fullest and all unfinished business will be tied up.

Someday I will get up from the sofa, my cozy comfort zone. I will walk out the door, suitcase dragging behind me, step on the airport train. The plane will take me to Vancouver in no time where I hurry out, excited to take the ferry to Vancouver Island. I will set foot on this island again and feel what I have felt all those years ago. I will feel calm between the trees, alive on the beach.

Someday I will step out of the shower, open my closet and put on the couture dress that is hanging there for ages, never worn. It will fit me perfectly and the comfortable matching stilettos will add more elegance. I will feel like a movie star out for the night at the Oscar's.

Someday I will meet you again. You will see me entering a bar where you hang out with a date. I will be perfectly comfortable bumping into you with my best friend by my side. You will try talking to me and I will answer nonchalantly knowing best that it was you, not me, but no, we cannot stay friends, I deserve better.

Someday I will answer the door and there you will stand in front of me. You will ask why I broke up the decades long friendship with your parents and never spoke to them again. I will finally get the chance to explain to you what happened between your father and me and you will understand why I had to leave. I will tell you how hard I missed you and hoped for you to call me.

Someday I will buy myself a guitar and learn to play it like I wanted to when I was a child. I will take three months leave from work to play it with all the effort I put in my full-time occupation. I will play and my husband and I will sing along for our dog and enjoy relaxed evenings at the fireplace in our garden.

Someday I will speak French fluently. I will walk through Saint Jean the Luz and talk to all these lovely people I met during my vacation one year. We will sit and talk for hours, laugh, share experiences made and our innermost thoughts and feelings.

Someday I will sit down at my desk and write the book I have been thinking about for so long. I will write and write and write, the words, sentences and chapters will flow out of my mind through my fingers onto the pages. I will read it out to all the people who are interested in it.

Someday I will wear my wedding dress one more time. You will take me to Las Vegas to renew our vows. We will look stunning in our tux and gown from a few years back. I will love you even more than on our wedding day and will be happy to say I do - again.

Someday I will tidy up the drawer in my desk. I will sort out all dried out pens, bent paperclips, buttons belonging to clothes I do not own anymore. The drawer will look neat every time I open it and I will have place for my notebook bound in pink leather.

Today I will start. I will take out my notebook and start writing. I will not hold back, write down what comes to my mind, happy to let things flow and to start with living someday today.