What Lies Within

What Lies Within pt14

-2 months later-

I slowly walk into the familiar training room. Looks like the others are already here. Crap, I'm late. Right after school, John called an emergency meeting, but I was stuck helping Ms.Clair with the test papers. Once again, I try to catch Ethan's gaze but like always, he doesn't look my way. In the past two months we've drifted apart. After the kiss he completely avoided me, as if I'm some sort of plague or disease. On the up side, Justin and I have been together for over 3 months now, and our relationship's growing stronger than ever. But I miss Ethan. A lot. So much that it actually hurts. 

I wish we could have late night ice cream again, that we could play wrestle in the sand again, that we could have those emotional talks again, that we could snoop around together again, but most of all, I just wish I could talk to him and have him acknowledge my presence again. Plus, the guilt of cheating on someone who’s been so good to me is slowly eating away at me.

 "What’s wrong?" Justin's concerned voice rings through my ears as his arm wraps around my waist. I shake my head and muster up a smile. Of course it's fake. I haven't actually smiled for 2 months now. I haven't talked to Ethan for 2 months now too. Coincidence? No. There's no way I can tell Justin that while I'm his girlfriend, not two seconds ago I was aching for Ethan. "Looks like we're all here" John says looking around. He clears his throat, pulls out some type of floor plan and announces "we're going on a mission. A break in" 

 A break in…? Justin's arm tenses around my waist; he's just as confused as me. "Finally. I was waiting for this. It’s show time!" Liz exclaims, cracking her knuckles and stretching. My gaze is locked on Ethan, who seems to be absorbed in his own world. His gorgeous grey eyes randomly skim the room, then land on me. For the first time in months, we make direct eye contact. It’s breathtaking. I don't know why, but I'm breathless. Maybe it’s the way he's staring at me, or the way his gaze seems to pierce right through me yet penetrate every inch of me. It's giving me goose bumps. Sending chills down my already straight as a pole spine. 

"First we're making a plan" John suggests, moving towards the table. "For what?" I ask automatically. I still have no clue on what's going on. "To break out Lindsay" Liz chimes, clasping her hands together. Lindsay… I'd really like to meet her. "I bet Ethan is really, really, really eager to talk to her again! Huh? Huh Ethan?" Liz teases, nudging him in the guts. Wait, what does she mean? Do Ethan and Lindsay have some sort of history together…? "I actually really do want to see her again" he grumbles before walking out. Her eyes shoot up to her eyebrows and she runs out after him, surprised. I wonder what happened between him and Lindsay. 

-The next day, lunch time-

I aimlessly rest my chin on my palm as Megan chatters away. I swear, that girl can talk up a storm. That is also something I've learned to do with water recently. I really want school to be over so I can practice. Then Ethan and his crew walk in. it's like one of those movie scenes, where everyone stops and stares at the top dogs. Except in this case, all eyes are on Ethan, like usual. Liz breaks away from the group and joins me, Alexia and Megan at our corner table. She exchanges greetings with Alexia and Megan and sets her lunch beside me. 

"Does Ethan like Lindsay or something?" I blurt, finally letting my curiosity get the best of me. She swallows hard, shrugs and looks away, which sort of annoys me. I mean, it's only a question. "Liz…" I trail off, urging her to answer. She knows how stubborn I can get. She turns back to me and silently asks "I know you really like him Vicky. I'm not stupid; I can see the way you look at him. You’re with Justin but its Ethan you like. That’s why I'm sure you won't like the answer. Do you want to know that badly?" 

I'm overcome with anticipation at this point so I merely nod. She takes a deep breath and heavily announces "Lindsay was Ethan's first legit girlfriend. She’s his first love." First love? That guy has been in love? But Liz said Lindsay WAS his first girlfriend so I'm guessing not anymore. "If he loved her then why'd they breakup?" I quietly ask, almost whispering. "He was madly in love with her, and then one day she broke up with him out of the blue. She said she loved him, but only as a brother. She didn't want to hurt him but she couldn't pretend any longer. Obviously he ended up getting crushed. That night he ran off hurting but she decided to stay in the woods. That's when she got captured. Ever since then he's been blaming himself. He tortures himself about her absence everyday" Liz explains, her expression solemn and sorrowful. 

There it is… his sweet and vulnerable side. I can't keep it in any longer. I have to know. I don't care if he's not talking to me. I need to know two things. a) Why did he kiss me then ignore me? And b) does he still love Lindsay? "I’ll be right back Liz" I mutter before getting up and wandering off, despite her protests. I approach their table and it goes dead silent once again. "It’s obvious that I need to talk to you" I grumble, staring at him directly. He’s laying back on the bench in a low cut v-neck that highlights his abs and black jeans that hang on him just the right way. He never wear uniform, yet still never gets caught, the teachers usually just leave him alone. He nods and follows me, but continues to look down, avoiding my stare. 

When we're finally in a secluded hallway my emotions pour out of me like water out of a broken dam. My eyes tear up and as I ask my first question, my voice cracks. "Why? Why’d you kiss me? Why’d you ignore me right after it?" I ask, now being the one to avoid his gaze. His arched eyebrows shoot up and his gorgeous gleaming silver eyes widen in disbelief. Seeing me cry like this… he looks like an innocent confused child. His hands gently wrap around my waist and he pulls me close. There’s still distance between us though… yet now I'm wrapped in his arms, the way my body's been yearning for, for the past three months. "Victoria…" he mumbles. The way he says my name… 

Ethan rests his chin on my head and whispers "I kissed you because…" I wait a few moments for an answer but there’s nothing. He just stopped. I step back a little to look at him and raise my eyebrows, urging him to continue. He groans and pleads "do you really need me to say it blondie?" I can't help but smile a little. "Yeah…" I trail off. He brings a hand to support the back of his neck and blushes slightly. Him blushing is the cutest thing ever. Red definitely suits him. He is fire after all. "When do you think guys usually kiss girls? It’s obviously when they like the girl" he mumbles, staring down at the ground. I cannot believe this. 

First of all, Ethan is embarrassed. THE Ethan Amour is blushing. That’s like a once in a lifetime event. Second, did he just say he likes me? I know I'm dating Justin and news like this isn't supposed to impact me much but I'm hyperventilating inside just at the thought of Ethan liking me. "S-so you like-like me…?" I squeak hesitantly. He gently takes my hand into his rough ones. Just by the calluses on his hands you can tell he's a hard worker. He doesn't give up. Pulling me close he leans his forehead against mines and gazes straight into my eyes. With an exaggerated sigh he grins and whispers "yes blondie, I like-like you" As he slowly but hesitantly leans in. Right at the last moment he abruptly pulls back. I, who was also leaning in eagerly, gingerly step back, blushing beet red. 

He takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his silky black hair. My one wish, other than the basic stuff, would be to run my hand through his hair; I want to see how it feels. I've come to the conclusion that he does this whole hand-hair thing when he's nervous or confused. "Like I said, I really, really like-like you… but it's just that you're with Justin. I'm sorry but I honestly don't regret kissing you. I never will because truth to be told, I loved it. But it’s wrong. Justin doesn't deserve this and you know that" he explains softly, taking my hand once more. 

I hate him, saying us being together is 'wrong' while fully exposing his soft side to me, making me love him even more is just cruel. "But" he continues, lifting my chin up, forcing me to meet his enchanting silver gaze. "We can always be friends" he assures me, pulling my emotionless body into a warm hug. What he says is true. He does have a point. Plus, right now, I'm just thankful we're friends again. We’ll be talking again. Reluctantly I hug back.

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