(i wrote this when I was dissociated, and sad 😃.. it's also unedited and I don't think I'm gonna ever edit it sooo... 😃 I also wrote this on discord, so don't mind the slang if there is any)
Lol, imagine, a world where every two years you get to meet your future self three years older than the current you, but this year.. this year, older you doesn't show up... 🙂
So future you doesn't show up, but your friends(the older vers) they all get sad when they look at you.. your super confused as to why your not there.. then one of your older friends come up to you say say that you committed two years ago(a year older then current u), your shocked and saddened by this news..
Time skip a year, your living life to the fullest, you ran away, made new friends, a whole new life even!.. but eventually, you remembered that you 'died' this year.. but you're so happy? So why would you commit?..So one day, you and your new friends are hanging out.. then you realise you're in love with one of your friends.
so skip a week later, you only fell harder.. so you decided to tell them, they rejected you. They said they're already dating someone, one of their friends you've met.. you start to fall into a deep depression..
Time skip a month, you blocked the friend you and a crush on. You don't talk to them anymore...Then one of your other friends confesses their love to you, you decide to date them, you slowly, but surely fall in love with this friend.
time skip a month, it's now September, your starting school again.So school starts, you have all your classes with this ex-friend you had a crush on, you ignore them... Every lunch period you go to hang with your partner, all fun and games, but then your partner begins to drift away from you.. so you try to fix it, but they just keep drifting farther and farther..You soon find out that your partner and old crush started dating in secret.. your heartbroken at this news, so you break up with your partner, and ghost everyone, falling into a depression again.. you start to feel suicidal..
Time skip a month, it's now October, you only have one friend, all the others left you after you got blamed for bullying your now ex..So you and this one friend hang out constantly, you two get bullied by the rest of the school..Until one day, future you, a year older you, come to you, telling you to stay home from school.. so you do, it saved your life.. but your ex crush and partner die..
So you go to school a week later, your only friend becomes happy again, thinking you died, they become overjoyed!
So you slowly start coming out of this depressing state.. life begins going good again.You and this friend are inseparable, you two do everything together! You guys basically live at each other's house! Yall's like siblings!
(wait did I fuck up on months again? Fuck.. nope, :)) we good!) [Lol I have a bad memory 💀]
Time skip a month, it's now November, you two had so much fun on Halloween, you two went as matching costumes! So cute! Anyways, life is good.. you only have one month left until this year is over, you're thinking 'wow, I didn't commit like they said'..
Skip a week, you and friend are having some fun at a cafe, soon you two are done there, and go for a walk!
After walking for a few hours, it soon falls to night, you and friend are at a park..and you two begin walking home...
About 20 minutes into your walk.. a drunk driver comes racing down the road, heading straight towards you two..You jump out of the way, but friend freezes!
You get up, and push them out of the way, the driver hits you.. You fall into a deep coma.. many fatal injuries.. and a serious concussion.
(Lol I know nothing about this so be nice🥲)
Time skip to Christmas.. friend is at the side of your hospital bed.. flowers, cards, balloons, presents all around the room, how did they get here? Your old friends from your old town!..
Time skip three days.. your heart is slowing down.. your almost brain dead.. the doctors tell everybody to say their goodbyes.. no one thinks you're gonna make it..So everyone does, everyone goes into your room crying, saying their final goodbyes and prayers..
Then finally, it's your only friend's turn.. they walk in, say goodbye.. and wait in there until the doctors pull the plug..
Soon enough, the nurses and doctors come in and start taking out your IVs, taking off your oxygen mask, which makes it hard for you to breathe..And soon enough, the only thing that was keeping your heart pumping..
Your friend was holding your hand crying, you softly squeeze friends hand, and the monitor flatlines.. your dead..
You died when you needed to..
You died when you were meant to..
No more pain, or suffering for you..
But friend? And your family?
They hurt daily.. but they keep moving on. For you.
