Running; Zayn Malik & Me

So if you are a reader from the UK (like I am a writer from the UK - fun fact for ya'll), you will know that this is not Wednesday. 

But if you are somewhere else, like LA (like me:D - another fun fact for ya'll) it is Wednesday so I am not late.

Have no funny stories for you today.. Except I fell off a chair and stabbed myself in the leg with a paint brush. AND IT FRICKIN HURT.

Don't do that to yourself kiddies. Would say next update Saturday, but I fly home then.. So may be Saturday may be Sunday. The more votes and shiz the more inclined I'll be to try my hardest to update on Saturday... ;) feel me? 

“I need to go” 

“Go? Go where? Zayn, please, please listen to me, it’s me, it’s Beth” I ignored the pulsing in my fingers and gripped onto his fingers. He struggled, crying out in frustration. 

“Alex” he mumbled. 

“Zayn? Who’s Alex?” 

“He. He can f-fix me” he writhed around and tried to escape my grip but I wouldn’t let go. I clung on harder and pulled myself up to him, I sat in front of him and looked him dead in the eye. Even though his eyes were wide open, they looked glassy, fogged over almost. He was still asleep and trapped in this violent nightmare. 

“Please baby, please, wake up” I pushed his hair of his face and gently traced the outline of his jaw. 

“Please” I begged in a whisper. I felt his body relax and watched as his eyes rolled into the back of his head, I watched his body convulse and flop until I couldn’t take it anymore, I grabbed his shoulders and shook him. 

“Zayn!” I screamed, “Zayn! Just wake up, please wake up!” Tears were pouring down my face and I definitely looked like a troll, but I didn’t care, I needed him to wake up. And he finally did. 

His rolled open lazily and he looked up at me groggily, “Beth? What happened? Why are you crying?” 

I couldn’t reply, I could only sob. 

“Hey, hey” he whispered and pulled me into his chest. 

“It’s okay” he said, “Everything’s going to be okay, what happened?” 

I still didn’t reply, I just let the tears roll dow my face. Seeing him in that vulnerable state was absolutely terrifying. He had said that this was going to be hard, but I didn’t think it would be this hard. 

“Who’s Alex?” I asked, my voice hoarse. I felt his arms stiffen around me. 

“Why’d you ask?”

“You, y-you said you need him, you said he’d make you better, n-no, no, you said he’d fix you” 

He sighed heavily and pulled me tighter into him, then he kissed the top of my head, “He’s my dealer Beth, he gets me what I want when I need it.. Beth, did I have a dream?” 

I snorted and pulled away from him, “A dream? You can’t call that a dream Zayn, not even a nightmare, it was horrific, the things you were saying, and your body, it was.. I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do” 

Fresh floods of tears ran down my face as I bit down hard on my bottom. 

“Hey stop these silly tears, it’s all gone now, there’s no need for them.” He wiped his thumbs under my eyes then cupped my cheeks in his hands and looked me dead in the eye. It was pretty dark in our room but I could just make out a dark gleam boring into me. 

“We’re okay now, okay? It’s all gone, see, I’m fine” 

I shook my head, “But you’re not. Zayn has this happened before?”

He sighed again and dropped his hands from my face. “Kinda, I don’t really know, Liam used to tell me about me shouting in the middle of the night, but you know, me and Liam haven’t really got on that well.. For a.. A while” 

I nodded and swallowed, “I understand. Shall we try and get some sleep now? But I want to talk in the morning please”

Zayn shifted and got back under the duvet and held it up for me to climb under. “I don’t think there’s anything to say Beth, we just need to have a nice day tomorrow, maybe watch the news and then think about moving on”

“I suppose” I said and turned away from him, my back facing his chest. 

“Beth?” he asked. 

I rolled onto my back and tried to pick out any patterns on the fancy ceiling, “What?” it sounded sharp and rude, but I didn’t really care, he wanted to brush everything under the carpet, forget it ever happened. 

But how could I ever forget something like that? 

And what if he did it again? 

“Will you, um, cuddle me? Please?”

I didn’t say anything for a good minute, I just carried on staring at the ceiling. Eventually, I rolled to face him. I pushed my nose into his chest and breathed in his musky scent that hadn’t change from when I first met him. 

He rested his chin on top of head and wrapped one arm around my side. 

“I love you” he said loud and as clear as day. 

“I love you too” I replied. “But this isn’t over” I mumbled and I’m pretty sure he pretended not to hear me. 

--------------------

The next morning I was just pulling on my jeans when there was a knock on our door. Zayn was in the shower so I went to answer it. 

“Two seconds!” I called as I did the button up on my jeans and made sure my top was tucked in. Annabelle was going to take me shopping today, she said she wanted to dress me like a proper French girl, and inside I was cringing. 

When I got to the door, it was Robert, I smiled at him kindly but he had a stern look on his face, “Emily, do you mind if I come in? We need to talk”

My smile fell and I stepped back to allow him into our room. 

“Sorry about the mess, Lew-” I started before he cut me off. 

“It’s fine, it’s your room. And is Lewis around?” he put emphasis on Zayn’s cover name which made me swallow thickly. 

I nodded, my vocal chords struggling to works, “Ah, um, h-he-he’s in the shower, won’t be a second” 

Robert nodded curtly and took a seat on the chaise lounge that sat in the corner of the room, it was about the seat clear of clutter. Which is difficult to believe considering how lightly we were traveling. 

Zayn walked out of the shower with a towel wrapped round his waist, “Hey Robert, thought I heard you, everything okay?” 

Robert pulled out a piece of paper from his blazer pocket, “Is this or is this not your picture on the front page of the ‘Le Monde’? And are you or are you not Zayn Malik, a fifth of that ridiculous bubblegum boyband that has taken over the world?” Then he turned to me, “And are you Beth Reader? His ex-girlfriend from two years ago? Oh and while we’re at it, you’ve both run away, he’s a coke addict and you’re a depressed self-harmer?”

Me and Zayn were stunned into silence. 

Robert rolled his eyes and screwed up the article, throwing it to the floor “I’ll take that as a yes to everything then” 

And the plot thickens. 

Slightly.