Marked

Dance with me?

Labored gasps filled the stilled room, what happened? He thought through fogged ramblings and senseless panic- all he could feel is his hand gripping his caged chest, constricting his breathing in each unstable breath. What happened? It grew louder, eyes wide staring at the white ceiling in front of him. His brows furrowed, his back felt uncomfortably sticky with sweat, pushing itself against the white beddings and his silky undershirt, it felt wrong.

Gazing mindlessly at the ceiling, each breath stutters to a slow halt, his heart beating more slowly in each passing minute until he realizes where he is. Thoughts still rambling horribly, coupled with his eyes straining by opening it too fast, he wanted to close it for a second but something about going back to the darkness irked him with fear. He breathed in and out, treading carefully on not letting it evolve into a panic attack- Jesus Christ, he came here because he had an unsuspecting panic attack, he refused to let it happen to him twice in one day.

He lifted his hands in front of his face, it's trembling again but more softer, restrained. The Filipino sighs deeply, what happened? The question echoed once more, it was foggy to remember but he can still discern the adrenaline pumping through his veins, one word he can only describe this emotion is dread, painful dread. Tiredly, his hands planted against his face softly, breathing still weak.

Despite sleeping in God knows how many hours, he is still tired. His fingertips feel tingly, as if he just touched something rough like wood.

He slowly pushed himself off the bed with a slanted gaze noticing how the room was slightly dimmed. He looked outside the window realizing it was noon which means classes are done, he grimaced a bit remembering his promise to Malay about the ice cream shop. Despite the uncomfortable feeling he is having, he notices Mrs. Switzerland isn't here with him, she must be outside.

His brows furrowed before slowly pushing himself to sit at the edge of the bed. The room was bathed softly of sunlight through the window. Shakely, he walked gently till he was in front of the glass panel, despite how sluggish his legs are it does nothing to deter his eyes away from the outside. There were still students walking around the campus, some leaving and some sitting around to enjoy the company with one another, or some just wanting to stay for a little while for no reason.

Philip could only close his eyes and breathed in tiredly, he just woke up and yet he never felt more exhausted than ever, before his mind could spin once again, the door open with a soft swing, turning, he saw his friend Malay who froze for a second. The Filipino perked up "Mal-" he was cut off when the Malaysian strode so fast that his cheeks being squished between palms didn't register to him till Malay started rambling with concern laced with anger "Are you okay? I was asking people around if they saw you- and none of them know where you are! I even asked Russia! And you know how scary that dude is-" Philip snickered, shaking his head softly, grabbing away both of Malay's palms from his face.

"I'm Fine, I'm fine- So don't panic anymore because I'll panic too if you do that." The Malaysian still stared hard at him through a microscope, as if he was waiting for the Filipino to drop dead infront of him, but in the end he pouted slightly "You looking dead tired, dude." Philip couldn't help but chuckle tiredly as a response letting go of his hands in the process,

"I'm always tired, Mal." The Asian country shrugged, not seeing it as a big deal but Malay knew otherwise, his eyes scanning Philip with precision trying to see a hair out of place which is many. "I know dude, but this? The vibes are different." muttering, he rubbed the back of his neck with a worried sigh, guilt filled the Filipino not wanting to make Malay feel like this, the tight feeling came back like a faint mocking tone.

Squeezing him hard as his throat dried like sandpaper scraping his very tongue. "I'm sorry, I guess...I haven't been sleeping great lately." His tone was carefully constructed to be light, no hesitation nor a scream for pity. The Pinoy smiled simply, reverting his gaze away from Malay as if hiding away from parts of his expression to cover up his very weakened state of mind at the moment.

"No...don't apologize." Malay sighs, patting Philip on the shoulder trying to smile back in reassurance "Well...since you're unwell, I guess ice cream night has to wait." The Pinoy's head perked up, remembering what they had talked about early once again, it only fueled his shame further. Philip promised him to hangout after the whole Indo debacle, he promised him and yet-

"Let's go out, can you walk?" Malay's question made him snap out of his guilt, his tiredness increasing as he nodded mutely. Guilt and so much shame filled him, Philip rubbed his eyes as he took the bag of the canvases from the side of his medical bed with a sluggish posture when he finally headed out with Malay by his side.