"THE WORST KIND OF PAIN IS WHEN YOU SMILE JUST TO KEEP THE TEARS FROM FALLING."
-Anonymous-
They say you see your life flash by when you are at the brink of death. I didn't believe it before , I believe now .
I saw my life flash by , moment by moment,when they were holding me back , forcing me to stay while all I wanted was to be with one thing which gives me life and I see it slowly fading away and I see my life flash by , my past , present and future and I think " This will be the end of me"
"NO" I screamed which felt like the hundredth time . My voice was hoarse from the previous screaming and limbs exhausted by all the fighting against the hands holding me and yet it was all useless because here I stand while the love of my life is slowly sinking to his death bed, I stand helpless while I see his chest moving up and down with forced strength and his arms, which held me with so much love, lying lifeless and still I, I stand here and I know that every second he dies, I die too.
I closed my eyes , breathe in and out,dried tears met wet tears on my cheeks and I, I was in pieces.
I opened my eyes. The road was silent now, no more panic, silent sympathy perhaps, not a thing more.One of the paramedics touched his neck with his fingertips and turned to the other and shook hie head and the other did the same and sighed but none of this mattered because I was falling, falling down. I looked down and up ,I couldn't see his face anymore. The glue which kept my pieces from falling down was now covered, covered with a white cloth.
Covered with a white cloth.
It's amazing how everything was at perfect clarity for a few seconds, time was slowing down and then the screaming started.I screamed and scratched and hit and pulled the arms holding me with a strength I didn't even know I had and I finally broke free.
I ran to him and fell by his side exhausted from life. I removed the the cover .One of the paramedics tried to tell me something but the other stopped him, all this is a side picture while my eyes were focused on his face.
I took his hand. It was still warm. Warm as it ever was , he looked so relaxed , like he's sleeping .Like at any moment he might open those sea green eyes, but they remained closed and I knew that they were doomed to be so forever.Tears rolled down my eyes to his face,but he didn't wake up from that tears of true love , life is not a fairy tale.
I remember his soothing words about forever and being okay as long as we are together and now we aren't , Now we aren't.
I can't remember when I left the hospital or how I got home. I just found myself standing in front of the mirror. The girl in front of me , her face was an endless torture , tears rolling down, mascara smudged and hair wild and she , she was trying to get a grip on the land called life because the anchor which kept her afloat was gone. And then I realized ; that girl , is me . I was collecting my broken pieces and trying to get a grip on my freaking life and failing and falling because I knew that the glue which kept my pieces together was gone and now I am in pieces.
When you fix the broken pieces of a jar with glue it'll stay like that for sometime but once the glue is gone the pieces will fall and break into more pieces and right now a broken jar is the best way to describe me.
What is the meaning of love , love which cater each other's hearts , leaves at anytime it wants to. what is the point of love if you know that one day you will loose it . I once believed that love was powerful more than anything but now I know that I was wrong because right now love is useless. Love is a very small force which people try to get strength from but that force isn't even strong enough to exist forever. Love is too much of a fragile force for people to hold on to. If I didn't love him I would still be a broken jar but I wouldn't be as broken as I am now because then there won't be a glue which kept me fixed and I would not have broken twice as hard and therefore all the promises of love was of only momentary pleasure because ;
no amount of love , no matter how much , could mend my broken heart.
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A/N
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS DRAMATIC PROLOGUE BUT YOU CAN'T JUDGE THE STORY FROM THIS . THE CHAPTERS WILL SEEM SPONTANEOUS BUT NOT TO WORRY.
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MEND A BROKEN JAR
RomancePerhaps everyone is broken. Maybe we are meant to be broken. But not always fixed.
