White and Red

Prologue

Ah, don't you just love England? See, not many people say that about me due to mixed feelings on my country, due to my personal history of affecting other countries in negative ways...and yet that's only scratching the surface of my glorious country. So sit back, hold on to your socks, because I'm about to tell you who I am, and my story.

For starters, my name is Arthur Kirkland, or as you may know me as, England or Britain. But back then? Nope, didn't go by that, and I'll tell you why. Back around 2,500 BC in what is mine and my brother Wales' land there were the first people to inhabit our lands, known as the Beaker Culture. This group of people would not birth me nor my brother, for neither of us are established yet, so hang on. Not much is known about the Beaker Culture people, other than they are named after their unique pottery and the theory regarding the creation of the stonehenge, which was a rock formation laid out to represent the winter and summer solstice calendar.

Time went on for these Beaker Culture people however, and by 500 BC, 3 tribes formed across the land in mine and Wales' land, Scotland and in Ireland. These three tribes at the time were known as the Gaels (in Ireland) the Picts (in Scotland) and the Britons where I am, hence where I get the name "Britain" but we'll get to that. These people were not a unified people either, they were all scattered around the place in districts.

And now where everyone's favorite Italian pimp comes along in 43 CE and the Romans took over Briton, and they TRIED to take over the Picts, but were unsuccessful. What was once Briton was now incorporated into the Roman empire as 'Britannia' which is also where I get my name. Being part of the empire, Rome left some roman roads and laws that would soon be used by the Germanic peoples that would soon come to the land after the Romans eventually abandoned it, seeing it as useless.

410 CE was when the Angles, Saxons, Jutes and Frisians came to Britannia with their language known as what people now call 'Old English' and settled, pushing Britons who were there to Wales. The Jutes eventually fizzled out, simply joining into the Angles and the Saxons, who eventually joined to become the Anglo-Saxons. Now keep these guys and the Britons in mind, because that's where my personal issues begin.

Soon a bunch of vikings from Denmark arrived, conquering and influencing the Anglo-Saxon peoples who were there, creating many places like my capital today in 886 CE. Eventually the Anglo-Saxons beat the Danish peoples away, and the first English king was crowned, only to be short-lived when Denmark came back and reconquered, making a Danish dynasty for some time in 1016 CE.

By 1066 CE, the French (known as the Franks at the time) showed up and waged our first ever war, how sweet. Anyways the frog won and we had a French king for a while. This king made villages and castles with moats around them, bringing the Anglo-Saxon land to be more 'modern'.

Long story short, this king later married the queen of the French at the time, unifying the Anglo-Saxons and the French which would start off me and France's distaste for one another. Due to this being a whole thing after the crusades, the Magna Carta was signed, limiting the power of the king over his people. Soon with this signing, we let France go in 1335 and develop into the pervert he is today.

Later on by around 1542, King Henry the 8th came to power, giving Wales a say in parliament and establishing the kingdom of Ireland. After that I began to develop in literature with Shakespeare and such all up until I headed over to America and did all that nonsense that your history teacher would teach you instead of me.

Now. I'm going to cut it off there because I don't want to make myself look even worse than I already do in history (yikes) and so I will tell you about me now.

Nowadays I'm quite the gentlemen, polite in mannerism and witty and intelligent as a result of my success in the industrial revolution. Though there is one thing about me that other countries find peculiar and I quite find off slightly too, but then again I grew up with these so pite down with your rubbish complaints.

Around the time Wales was declaring himself to be separate from me, which was the time of the Britons and the Anglo-Saxons, there were many wonderful and mythological beings around my land! Why, our very war was aided by two dragons. The dragon of the Britons, which are the Welsh, was the Red dragon known as Draig these days, and mine was the White Anglo-Saxon dragon, which now represents one of my district flags, but shhh, we don't care. Point is, I have many magical and mythical friends and yet nobody but me and my brothers can see them!

Why, I remember one day after I decided to bring my friends the flying mint bunny and the pied piper to a meeting, Switzerland pulled me aside and asked if I have undiagnosed schizophrenia!! It's a bloody shame if you ask me, but now? Onto the story, take it away because my fingers hurt and I don't feel like writing anymore.