Love How I Love You | WMBM | BXB BL

7 | The love I feel is making it worse

The sudden knock on my bathroom door makes me jump. I opened the door and Mama was standing on the other side smiling. For once she looked put together. Her hair is done and her makeup was done to hide the bruises.

"Baby! Come down and say hi to your Aunty Mabel."

My stomach tightened. "Not now Ma."

"Jason, please she's thrilled to–"

"Ma!" I yelled.

She flinched and took a step back from the bathroom door. "Just come down when you're ready."

I braced myself on the door trying to get my breathing together. It felt like I was shrinking in on myself. Fuck.

There's talking from the kitchen and the smell of food. My dad is laughing. It's a genuine laugh. Mama is talking over Aunty Mabel as they share something from their childhood.

The talking stops when I enter the kitchen.

"Jay Bird!" Aunty Mabel said. "Wow, you've grown so big. You're not a little boy anymore."

And maybe it was just me who heard the distastefulness in her voice.

Without thinking I drew my arms around me as a way to hide myself. All because of her, I became the black sheep on my mom's side of the family.

The ridicule I got as a kid was sickening.

They were staring at me. But I couldn't pull words together to speak. My dad gestures for me to sit at the table and I sit.

"Jay Bird your mama tells me you're in a band?" Aunty Mabel said.

What I have going on in my life is none of her business. I don't say anything and look down at the table, my eyes focused on the rough grooves of the wood.

"Maybe you can help this lil nigga find a girlfriend while you're here. Maybe he'll stop playing around with boys."

Before Aunty Mabel can say anything I leave the kitchen and go back upstairs to finish getting ready.

I thought Min-Jun was going to be picking me up like he said but instead, a shiny maroon Mustang pulled up to my house. It's Ray.

"What happened to Min-Jun?" I ask.

Ray opens the passenger side door for me, gesturing for me to get in. "He said he didn't have enough room in the van."

"There's always room."

"I guess not with all the equipment," he said. "So you gonna get in?"

I get inside the Mustang. It smells of citrus and vanilla. The inside of the interior was leather pink and hanging from his rearview mirror was a mini Hello Kitty toy.

Ray pulls off. He tries to make conversation with me, asking me how long I've been with the band, and how long were the three of us friends. Just the little stuff anyone would be curious about.

He hands me his phone so I can pick the next song. Ray makes a face when he hears it's a country song.

"For real, you listen to country music?"

"Yeah."

"So you're like a lil cowboy?" he said, the corner of his lip pulling into a smirk.

What he said makes me laugh a little. He bop his head a little to the song, feeling it as much as I am. My phone buzzed and I pulled it out checking the messages.

Percy: Listen, I feel bad about last night. Let me make it up to you.

Percy: I love you.

Percy: You're my boy, you know that right?