Beauty and the Bodyguard

Chapter 13: Heartbreak

I just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, my bad. Also, does anyone else get insanely upset about whatever is going on with Ishan? Like, I understand that it's a selfish world, but I feel like meri hi nazar lag gayi hai Ishan ko. 

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They were just back from Ishan's mandatory run for Shubi, both sweaty and huffing as they climbed the stairs to Shubi's room.

"Not bad, huh Shubi? At this rate you could easily participate in under-10 races."

"Hey, c'mon! I tripped over a stone, warna your ass would be grass, agent IshKi."

Ishan simply smirked in response, and Shubman had an insane urge to wipe the smirk off his face. He had been having a lot of urges when it came to Ishan, and he was tired of keeping himself in check.

I promise to sweep you off your feet baby, he mentally pleads Ishan, please just give me today, as he walks toward Ishan and kisses him, pinning him in place. He caught Ishan by his waist, and placed tiny kisses on those oh so inviting lips he had dreamt of for months. Ishan tasted even better than he imagined, and Shubman knew he would never get enough of it.

Ishan lets himself linger for a second more, as he knows this will be the first and the last time he'll get to have this, have Shubman, and he needs to taste Shubman, even if it's for a second more. He pushes Shubman away, immediately putting distance between them.

"No, Shubi, I can't..."

Bewildered, Shubman tries to walk toward Ishan, but Ishan takes a step back, when it finally dawns on Shubman that Ishan doesn't want it, doesn't want Shubman. The heartbreak is clear on Shubi's face, and Ishan has to look away, knowing he cannot stand to see Shubman hurt. Ishan knows, one look at those beautiful eyes, now rimmed with tears that Shubi won't let fall, and he might turn back the time - he wants all of this, all of Shubi, so much that he cannot stop himself, even though reality dictates that he can never have any of this. Shubman doesn't need all of this, doesn't need him, and there's no need to destroy Shubman's life. He'll understand later.

Ishan steels himself and looks at Shubman's face - he's beautiful even with a tear stained face. He wishes none of this would have ever happened - he did not want to be the one to break Shubi's heart, and he has never hated himself more.

"I can't do this, Shubi. You're not thinking, there will be other—"

A cold, bitter laugh emanates from Shubi - Ishan hated the sound.

"Is that what you think? That you're an option, an experiment for me? I thought you knew me better than that."

"I can't do this."

"Can't or won't?"

Shubman lashes out, fueling himself with all the pain Ishan had put him through.

"I can't, Shubi - you are not thinking."

"And what do you know about what I think?"

Ishan wants to be anywhere but here - he cannot stand to look at Shubi, cannot face those piercing eyes that keep begging him to come back, to give them a chance. Ishan feels as if his breath is trapped in his lungs and something is choking him. He doesn't know how to pacify Shubi, and when he opens his mouth, Shubman runs to the walk-in closet. Ishan is fast on his heels.

He runs behind him, lest he close the door, but Shubman is sitting on the floor, as if he had exhausted all his strength. Ishan suddenly feels like crying. He pleads instead.

"Shubi, please..."

He bends down and tries to put a hand on Shubi's shoulder, but he is having none of it.