An Eldritch Demon's Odyssey

Metamorphosis

Lilith PoV:

Location: Outside the SCP Containment Site

My reality sense displayed the beautiful scenery of the surroundings which other than the facility were devoid of any human inhabitation. A mesmerizing starry sky painted the canvas of the silent night as a gentle breeze tousled my long hair.

This was the first time I was consciously able to survey this new world. The first time free of the shackles constraining me and not being locked up indoors. The first time I could truly feel alive in an unknown number of eons.

It is only when you have lost something that you truly understand its value. I don't exactly remember if that is how the phrase went, but I personally believe that it could not be more right.

If just these thoughts were not enough to prove these thoughts, then maybe the fact that tears threatened to spill out of the corners of my eyes due to witnessing the enchanting starry sky, a spectacle I considered mundane in my former human life might underscore their validity.

No, I could not cry here. Even if I want to perform an act of being a pitiful child, I did not want to be perceived as weak for even a moment. My experiences so far and threats from an impending misfortunate future, necessitated that I must be strong.

I would much rather be viewed as a strong child who just unfortunately happened to experience misfortune. Someone who overcame ordeals before her and still continued living without complaints. Someone who does not ask for help even if she can.

When people who care about you want to desperately help or provide some form of comfort to you, but cannot because you don't open up to them, it makes them more hurt than otherwise.

Ainz and the NPCs, my new 'family', would continue experiencing rising amounts of guilt. This would drive them even more to make greater efforts to be useful to me.

I didn't even withdraw memories regarding the torture that this body experienced under Nyx-chan's control. In other words, my, Lilith's, mental condition has not changed at all.

I was mentally older than most people in existence would ever be. There was no way I could display such as unsightly act for short term benefits. I had no reason to lose control of my emotions over something so meagre.

And yet, my body seemed to have different thoughts. It did not listen to the rational, compelling arguments that I put forward.

It was as if the floodgates that my body held were forcibly opened despite my complaints, unleashing an uncontrollable cascade of tears.

"Sniff...Hic...hn..." Stop it, I am not some weak pathetic piece of trash that can only cry and complain over my circumstances. I have always taken things in stride, whether it was when I was floating around in the void or when I reincarnated. Nothing phased me in the slightest.

"Why won't you listen?" I whispered softly to myself, my voice breaking as each tear betrayed my futile attempts to maintain composure.

The weight of unspoken emotions spilled through my eyes, drowning any semblance of stoicism I desperately clung to. In that vulnerable moment, words failed me, and the only language my body spoke was the silent eloquence of tears.

I was crying. I was just denying everything I had experienced in an attempt to push away any misfortunes I went through into the deepest recesses of my mind. I was just convincing myself that I was something more than I actually was.

Yes, I now held power unfathomable to my human self. I was not a human anymore and human ethical standards did not apply to me. And so I could happily do horrifying things without a care in the world. This fact had not and will never change.