worth it

two.

days became weeks, which slowly turned into an entire month, of namjoon coming over almost everyday of the week. he was there so much, he seemed to be assimilating into your family life. and the fact that namjoon only started coming over because he was a school-assigned tutor for your brother would easily shock anyone who saw them together-by now, they were practically best friends, the two having formed a close bond within the short period of time. sometimes namjoon wondered, would jiwon still be his friend if he knew the real reason he kept coming around?

technically, he didn't have to be there anymore. your brother's math grades had improved tremendously, so there wasn't any real need for him to stick around. of course, there was no way he'd be going anywhere anytime soon. his friendship with jiwon was like a one-way ticket into your private life, and despite your mysterious demeanor and your refusal to say anything regarding life outside of your house, his mere presence was enough to collect the pieces of the puzzle. all he had to do was put it together.

he wondered, whether observing people was always this easy, or if you were more of an open book than he thought. i mean, he had pieced together your entire schedule within a month! a month full of you speaking to him for 10 minutes a day, tops. the idea was laughable! sometimes, he couldn't help but feel bad. you tried so hard to fly under the radar, to stay hidden from the eyes of others, to remain a private individual. and he had come in and thrown a wrench in your plans, and you had no idea.

in a way, he felt some strange sense of heroism. he had managed to barge into your life first, and instead of it being some villain who was out to hurt you, it was just him, someone who cared deeply about you. it was obvious that you needed someone to protect you from the outside world, since you couldn't do it yourself, and since he had already broken in, it would just make sense for him to stick around for a bit (re: forever) and play the role of the heroine you so clearly needed.

as for actually getting you to trust him, it wasn't easy. you acted so closed-off, you weren't going to be receptive to any acts of affection yet. but he couldn't let his undying adoration for you go unfulfilled! he knew all your favorite things, of course, and couldn't help but leave spreads of flowers, and notes, and gifts, in all your usual spots. all the while, he was slowly (trying) to weasel his way into your life. it was going to take time, and he knew that, but for you, he was willing to dedicate his life.

one particular afternoon, when namjoon and your brother had commenced their usual hours of homework, followed by TV or a video game, the entire day was entirely ruined before it even started. the alarm bells in his head started going off immediately, when he walked in and saw your sleek black shoes in the same place they had been yesterday.

trying to move on with the day, namjoon ignored the obvious problem; the first of many stupid mistakes on his part. he should have known that something serious had happened when he saw your water bottle, the same one you brought with you everyday, on the kitchen counter. and finally, the cherry on top of this disaster of a day, you didn't come waltzing through the door at the usual time you did every single day.

head reeling, namjoon managed to keep his worry under wraps as he unfolded the possibilities in his head. were you sick? seeing as he was still able to come over without being sent home by your brother, probably not. on vacation? unlikely, seeing as your wallet was sitting in a basket by the front door. just stayed home from school? that seemed the most probable, though it worried namjoon more than the other theories. he knew, from the way you came home with armfuls of books, to the advanced classes you talked about taking, that you weren't the type to just skip school for some reason. no, something had happened.

looking at the clock briefly, back to his computer, namjoon spoke. "so, uh, where's your sister? i mean, she's usually home by now, right?" he asked, not looking up from the text on the screen. the lack of response prompted him to glance up, and meet your brother's worried eyes. "sorry, did i overstep?" he said innocently, a fake look of concern gracing his features. jiwon shook his head.

"no, it's not that. it's just..." he paused, quickly glancing down the hallway, towards your room. "she's been having some trouble with her ex boyfriend." he said, tone much more hushed and cautious compared to a minute ago. namjoon, with his eyebrows knitted together, looked shocked. what ex boyfriend?! "oh god, that's awful." he said, matching the concerned boy's quiet voice, "what...uh, what happened?" he said carefully.

jiwon sighed. "she's been getting all these gifts, lately. we thought they were from him, so we just ignored them." he explained. namjoon's heart dropped at the mention of the gifts. his gifts. the same ones he chose out with his own two hands. "anyways, he showed up here late last night, and saw the flowers and note in the garbage, and he just...went berserk. we had to call the cops, it was that bad. she's been pretty shaken up since." he said sadly, a pained expression on his face.

for the first time in his life, namjoon truly felt stupid. stupid, for not finding out about the thorn in your side. stupid, for buying all those gifts and treats and launching you further into your little bubble, and stupid, for not being there to protect you. he was supposed to be your guardian angel, that was his whole reason for doing what he's doing, and this is how it ends?! even worse, it was his fault!

masking his panic and guilt with a sympathetic look and comforting comment, the realization of what was next crept up on him. namjoon was a smart guy; he knew what he had to do. the only question was, would he be strong enough to do it?