Missing pieces

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I haven't dreamt of you in a long time, won't deny everyday I avoid remembering you, but I fail often and end up chatting about everything you did, then I hide in the bathroom and start crying. I always cry when your name came up, another failed attempt. Yet, I managed to forget and delete whole years, I can't be sad all the time, what I will never forget is how much I loved to carry you, your sweet smell and soft hair, Dear God, I miss you dearly. Often in my dreams I'm running with you in my arms and somehow end up losing you again, but in the very next dream I continue looking for you sometimes I can find you, but when I don't, I woke up heartbroken in a sea of tears wishing to never have to say goodbye.

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