Emergency Contact

27

I wake up the next morning feeling weirdly good about everything. Last night I broke it off for good with Marcus. It was a much needed thing to do. We were together more out of habit than anything else and not letting one another go was hindering our growth as individuals. It doesn't mean it wasn't hard to do, but the way I feel this morning just confirms the fact that I made the right decision.

I head to the kitchen and start to make my coffee like I do every morning and then I hear a knock on the front door.

Grateful that I'm already wearing pants, I head to the door half expecting to see Marcus on the other side, but instead I'm greeted by a mail courier.

"Ivy Munroe?" she says, looking down at the parcel in her hands then up at me.

"Yes?"

She hands the package then holds out a tablet for me to sign. There's nothing on the tablet that tells me what this is I'm signing for, only a space for my name. I don't argue, I just sign then quickly close the door and examine the package.

My name is printed out on it so I can't even distinguish the handwriting. The only giveaway is the return address in the top corner. Oregon. Usually the label will send the CD to anyone who's worked on it, but it would've had the label's address on it, not the address of the cabin Vic and I stayed at. The package is also way too big to be a CD.

I decide to put myself out of my curiosity and open the package. I'm half expecting something I forgot when I left, but to my surprise I was half right in my earlier thoughts. Its a vinyl of the completed album. I stare at it in awe. I never know what album art is going to go on the album or even what the album name or song names are, so even though I've helped write all these songs its like an album I don't know.

I try to match the song names with the lyrics we wrote and I think I'll be right about most of them. I also can't help but notice two or three songs that hint at me as well.

I open up the album to get the first vinyl out and as I do, a piece of paper falls out with it. From where it lands on the ground I can see Vic's handwriting, a long amount of words on the paper. Taking a deep breath I pick it up and read, not sure what to expect.

Ivy,

I hope you know that this album was only possible thanks to you. Before you I was stuck and couldn't find a way to express myself but you helped me find my voice again. I hope you never forget that because I know I wont.

I loved every single second we spent together and I wouldn't change anything from it, except maybe the ending. I'm back in San Diego on the 7th, if you want to see me all you have to do is say so and I'll be there.

Tracks three, four and eight are for YOU. I wrote it when we got back from San Diego.

Text me after you listen to this.

I miss you,

Vic

ps. this record is for you

My impatient brain wants to skip right to the tracks he mentioned, but I don't let myself. I listen to the first two songs carefully, noting every single line that we wrote together or was rewritten. I pay extra attention to the lyrics I haven't heard at all, trying to put myself in Vic's head and see where the lyrics come from. After six months together its pretty easy for me to do that.

Track three starts and I make note of the title. 

Even When I'm Not With You.

I realize that Vic has gone over the lyrics in the vinyl, underlining ones that he clearly wants me to pay attention to.

I like the start of the song, nice and light, clearly a fun song. I was expecting diss tracks.

The start is good, lyrics flow really great and I like it. Its when the second verse hits that I see why its for me. From the beer through a straw to the kissing in the bathroom, its us. The bridge hits me hardest. Even though Vic said its for me I don't feel like it is. He never expressed that he had felt this way. It feels so weirdly surreal that he put this on an album for everyone to hear. As the last lyrics fade out, the ones about two souls healing each other, I stop the vinyl to soak it in. I want to listen to it again and again but I know I'll have time for that after I hear the whole album.

The next song comes on and I immediately look at the lyrics in the album. 

Emergency Contact.

The first lyrics are ones Vic wrote about me very early on, except he swapped out the last lyric for actual good ones this time. The next lines are from one of the first talks we had about therapy.

The chorus hits me and blows me away. From him referencing the way I "choke on my words" by never letting myself say them, him falling asleep on the couch like he always did and of course, being my emergency contact. Which he still is, actually. 

He even references that night in the hot tub where he turned the red LEDs on I played loud, heavy bass music in order to ruin the flirty vibe that was going on and ruined his speakers. 

Listening to the album almost feels like he's here with me. It makes me realize how much I genuinely do miss him. We spent every waking minute together for six months and then we were just apart and more distant than we were at the start. It fucking sucks.

I fly through the next couple of songs before reaching song eight.

 Resilence.

It starts with a snipper from Dawsons Creek which makes me smile. It wasn't a great show by far but I did love watching it with Vic.

So far its my favourite song on the album. I like the melancholy feel of it. The music is more upbeat than the lyrics are. I love juxtapositions like that. Half the song is lyrics we wrote together which I love.

Even Irrational Fears is from our flight on the way back to Oregon. He meant what he said, this album is for me. He likes me like I liked him. Like him, actually, who am I kidding?

The vinyl comes to an end, the static sound filling the now quiet air. There's only one thing to do now.

I pick up the phone and hit the call button, only hesitating for a minute. It only rings once.

"Hi." he says and I can hear the smile in his voice.