Confidential Training [Jujutsu Kaisen]

Chapter XII - Responsibilities

[February 1996]

For the past few weeks, Satoru had been sulking about (Y/n). He couldn't have despised his circumstance any more than at that time period; he was sure that if he was as strong as (Y/n), he would've been taken along with the mission; (Y/n) would've depended on him as much as he depended on her. He didn't want to wait until he was older to get stronger, he wanted be strong now. And he doesn't want anyone else to help him to do that, only (Y/n) could.

Yet, at the same time that he had longed for the return of his mentor, Satoru had also despised her for leaving him all by himself lonesome, despite everything; she had understood the backlashes of his position better than anyone else. So what was it that she was obliging to just abandon him at the one place he couldn't stand?

Satoru tries to figure it out, but every times he does so, he remembers the foolish promise she had made to him.

"But...even when I'm all big and strong...you'll still be with me, right?"

"Yeah...yeah, Satoru-kun, don't even worry..."

"Liar." Satoru utters under his breath. "You knew. This entire time." He knows that it pointless to show any visible anger, and that all he could do right now was just to just stare out at the empty courtyard; coincidentally, it was that same place where he and (Y/n) had trained with one another. 'She already knew that she would have to leave me. She lied to me; because she still treats me like a little kid. She lied about everything.'

'There's a lot about the jujutsu community that I don't know about. And no one wants to tell me either way, because they all think I wouldn't understand on the first go; either that, or maybe it's because all their problems and politics revolve...around me...' The thought that they were the reason that (Y/n) had left displeased him and guilt became of him. 'I want to know...' He can't stand the fact that he was helpless in this situation, having to stay in this estate of his like a hostage of some sort. 'I have a right to know what's going to happen to (L/n)-san.'

"(Y/n) is one of the reasons why I looked into these options at all. Seeing her become a pawn in Jujutsu High's game, willingly at that, convinces me that I'm justified to resent the Jujutsu community in general."

'I know (L/n)-san. She hates the higher-ups. She wouldn't just leave me because the higher-ups told her to; there has to be a good reason as to why she left.' Satoru was becoming convinced that there was more to this decision than just selfishness.

"...as much as this jujutsu society sucks, (Y/n) tries to reform it, not for others -- well, I mean, that's only the partial reason -- but also to redeem herself of her flaws. Oftentimes, she gets...desperate whenever problems come about, and her efforts don't go the right way. I can't help but to worry sometimes, because it's that kind of wanting...of both worth and power, mixed with insecurities that come from those same aspects...that one day, in due time, she'll..."

'I have to do something. I don't want to stay here.' Satoru furrows his eyebrows, now determined to take action. 'I can't stay here. -- If the higher-ups are actually trying to kill (L/n)-san...or at least harm her...' He feels entitled to step into this situation, because the life of his teacher was on the line. '--...I have all the right to help her. Even if I can't do it directly.'

"Even if you have (Y/n) with you, you might experience that same kind of loneliness that she's experiencing right now; we jujutsu sorcerers...we must learn, from a very young age, that people die...including us...and, most likely, we'd have to die by ourselves when we're on the field; we'll never know whether we'll live through today but die tomorrow...it could be any day that it happens."