If You Were The Gardener

1

This is a dream, right?
It feels like one.
I enjoy spending time with you,
And I enjoy talking with you,
And we have so many things in common
But...
I'm just so scared.
The anxiety comes,
The fear comes,
And I become embarrassed.
Is this a dream?
I'm scared it is.
Good things don't usually find me.
There's only one good thing.
The others...
Crumbled in my hands,
Or left me all alone.
Please stay.
I'm begging you to stay.
I'm so scared,
And it actually hurts.
I'm so scared,
I can't help but cry.
Don't leave me, please.
Be real.
Be good.
Just stay.
I'm so scared,
You'll find out everything
And you'll walk away.
Please don't go.
I know I have problems,
I know I'm messed up,
I know I'm too depressed,
But please stay here.
Don't want to be broken again,
Don't want to fall again,
Don't want to be in pain again.
The pain is scary,
Cause it's dark,
And twisted,
And it blinds me...
It muffles my sounds.
I'm
So scared.
What if life is a dream?
I
Don't wanna dream.
Don't wanna fall
Unless you're real.
I'm scared.
This doesn't feel real.
It feels fake.
I'm scared
I'm scared
I'm not in my own skin
I'm scared
This isn't real
It can't be
I'm so very scared
Help me
I want you to stay
Please
It hurts
It hurts
Why can't life be real
Why is it a dream
Make it stop
Make it real
Please
I just want something good
Something tangible
And what if he's not?
What if he changes his mind?
What if he finds out?
I'm not actually perfect....
It'll die...
It'll crumble...
He'll hate me...
And it won't be real...
Just another dream...
I'm tired of dreaming...
I just wanna live in reality...
I just wanna live a life that's real...