Riptide by Annabeth Chase

Chapter Seventeen: Celebration

All three of us received laurels and were instructed to sit at the head table during dinner. There was a huge amount of celebrating, and I tried really hard to enjoy it as Percy and Grover were so excited and everyone else was celebrating.

I didn't really feel too much like joining in. I was never one for big parties, but it was even less enjoyable when the big party was for me. I didn't feel like everyone yelling and talking excitedly made sense in comparison to what we had accomplished. We had only delayed a war, not stopped it all together. Now that everyone was safely back at camp I wanted to draw up battle plans and take action.

As we led the procession down to the bonfire to burn our burial shrouds Percy elbowed me and said, "The shroud your siblings made is so pretty. It seems a shame that we don't get to bury you in it."

I could tell he was joking but I still took it as an opportunity to punch him, he just laughed.

I ducked away from the celebration long before it was over, putting my cap on to sneak back up to Thalia's tree for a moment away from everyone else. One thing about living at camp, it was hard to get any alone time. Whenever I needed time to think I had a few places I could go to get away. The most comforting one was Thalia's tree. I'd climb it and watch everything happen below me wishing she was here with us.

As I climbed the hill, I thought back to the night I had first arrived at camp. I didn't know what I had expected to feel like after coming back from my first quest, but I knew I didn't think it would feel so similar to my first time coming over the hill.

We had completed our quest. The camp was safe. I had managed to keep the silent promise I had made, and Percy had not met the same fate as Thalia. It didn't seem fair.

I would never trade Percy for Thalia, but I wanted to have saved Thalia as well and it hurt that it wasn't possible. I climbed up to my favorite spot in the tree and pulled my secret storage box out of the nook I kept it in. I pulled out the coin I had received on the night I came to camp. I felt small and insignificant as I flipped it in my hands. It hadn't worked since that night. I still had no idea how I got it or why it stopped working once we arrived at camp, but I flipped it in my hand and whispered, "I feel like I belong here."

It was an obvious lie and that was the point. I had whispered that lie to myself and the coin so many times over the years hoping somehow it would start to work again and I could find a place I did feel I belonged. But the coin still didn't work, and I didn't have Thalia back.

"Hey," Luke said standing at the base of the tree. "I thought I saw you trying to sneak off." He climbed the tree and sat next to me.

"Must not have been very sneaky," I sniffled, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"Well, I am the one who taught you to be sneaky so you can't get away from me."

We sat in silence for a while. Luke knew how I felt; no matter how much this camp had become our home it would still hurt that Thalia didn't get to experience that with us.

"You know she'd be proud of you, don't you?" Luke said, nudging my shoulder a bit.

"Ha," I laughed mirthlessly, "I barely did anything, it was mostly Percy and Grover."

"Oh, right, like that time you saved us from a cyclops and didn't do anything because it was mostly the magic coin," Luke said sarcastically. "You're too hard on yourself. Just because you can't do everything yourself doesn't mean you didn't do anything."

"You're probably right."

"I'm definitely right," Luke said confidently which made me chuckle. He didn't say anything else for a moment but eventually he asked, "You didn't happen to see Thalia in the Underworld, did you?"