You, Me & the Alter(cations) - Farmeed AU

9.

"Tum theek ho?" Umeed turned to him, one eyebrow raised. Farjaad's left hand was on the steering wheel while the right one on his head, his elbow against the window.

"Kyun?" He turned to look over at her for a second before looking ahead onc again.

"Hilay ho lag rahe ho." She commented.

Umeed was still weirded out by his mood swings. One moment he was happening, warm, almost friendly. The next moment he would shut down and act robotic. Umeed had concluded that it was his normal state. So expressions on him were something that concerned her, especially if they showed joy.

"Kuch nahi khaya, sar mein dard ho rahi hai." He sighed, only a small part of it was true. He did have his protein shake in the morning but ran out of eggs, hence skipping breakfast. And Farjaad was confident that he would manage it, but the abrupt change in emotions had spun his head, reminding him that he needed food.

"Kyun nahi khaya?" She asked, intrigued to hear him. He didn't seem like the type to skip a meal, or get anything wrong for that matter. He ran with the clock, so it was interesting to heat that even he could skip a step.

"Bhool gaya." He muttered. "Tum ne khaya?" This was Farjaad's attempt at making conversation. He was still all over the place.

Part of him felt an odd relief within him. It was unexplainable, but it was present. He was at ease, he felt relaxed and it felt like things were smooth again. He was not ready to address what turn of events led to him feeling distress in the first place. He blamed it on the lack of nutrition now.

"Haan." She nodded, turning to face ahead. The weather was cold, the traffic was clear.

"Kya?"

"Well I have a strawberry jam and toast for breakfast. Aaj sooraj nikla tou socha I'll make strawberry smoothie." Umeed explained, remembering the taste of her smoothie, how nice it felt to have it after such a long time. She craved it again.

"Itni zyada strawberries?" Just as Farjaad turned as he asked the question, Umeed swiped her bottom lip with her tongue, remembering the taste of the frozen fruit on her lips. Farjaad gulped, turning back to focus on the road, feeling himself heat up.

"Mujhe achi lagti hain." She shrugged. It was a comfort food.

When she would do her homework and trace all the alphabets correctly at the age of five, her mother would give her a few tablespoons of strawberry ice cream as a reward.

When it was iftar time and nothing on the table was what Umeed enjoyed, despite not fasting at the young age of six, her mother would go to the kitchen and being out the strawberries she had specifically kept for her to snack on while the others had it with their milkshakes. Umeed already drank the milkshake when sitting on the counter along with Haya, while her mother and Zeenat chachi prepared iftar and chachu set the dishes on the table.

After her mother passed away, when she was twelve and Sameer and Haya were ten, Umeed hated strawberries, hated everything that reminded her of her mother.

When her father changed for worse, it became the only thing she relied on. The only thing that brought her comfort. Sitting outside on her balcony and eating strawberries, looking at the sky and wondering if her mother could see her from the stars. She'd fall asleep outside and would be woken up by Haya who would take her to bed, smiling at her cousins pink lips and fingertips.

When she arrived in Lahore in the that warm September and had her first breakdown, she ate the strawberries she bought on the roadside.

When she felt sick last January and had no one to look after her, take care of her or made her the yakhni that would heal her instantly, she only had the energy to make jam and toast. Then as well, it was the strawberry jam that reminded her of her mother, her mother's nurturing voice when she would take care of her and run her fingers through Umeed's hair.