Humpty Dumpty was a normal citizen in FairyTaleVille. He had a job in accounting and he hated it. Whenever his parents or teachers asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he had never EVER said he wanted to be an accountant. But here he was.
Life works in cruel ways, he thought. In the beginning, Humpty thought his job wasn't too shabby, he actually made a lot of money from it! But the economy crash of 2008 hit him hard. Now it was 2009, so you'd think Humpty would still be making bank, but no. His manager was an absolute dirt wipe. Humpty's manager had control of his computer, so any clients that decided to email Humpty would automatically be redirected to the employee of the month (more like employee of the decade) Spongebob G. Squarepants. Humpty couldn't afford anything. He would have to balance himself on a wall on weekdays and sleep at motels on weekends.
After a long hard day of accounting and having all his clients stolen by Spongebob (that fucker) he got his paycheck from his manager, Leeland. A wopping 2 cents. 2 whole copper pennies.
"Wait." Humpty thought out loud.
"This two cents is enough to take me to the football game at the Big Red Canine College!" Humpty clicked his heels and started to trot off. Leeland judged him silently.
Despite his prissy manager, Humpty began his way to the BRCC to see the football game. He longed to get some STD cup mango pineapple strawberry banana shamrock shake deluxe mix for the game, but Humpty was broke, physically and mentally. The round egg shrugged off his troubles. Today would be a glorious day, filled with college men and football!
Humpty walked to the ticket stand and held out his 2 cents.
"One ticket, please!" He exclaimed, eyes shining with a hope nobody had seen from Humpty since '07. The ticketmaster cleared his throat,
"You dyslexic idiot, didn't you read the damn sign??? Tickets are 2.5 cents. Go to hell."
...What?
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You Have to Crack a Few Eggs to Make a Cake (A Humpty Dumpty x Clifford Story)
RomanceOne fateful day Humpty Dumpty with his ginormous briefcase is on his way to work. Being an accountant pays him NO money, of course. He passes the Big Red Canine college, always seeming to have another football game going on. Dang nabbit, seems like...
