𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗟𝗨𝗘, 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙚 𝘽𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙝𝙖𝙢

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲-𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫 - 𝐀𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲

Chapter Thirty-Four - Apology
August 2023 - Madrid
LATER THAT NIGHT

Please comment and vote!! I LOVE READING YOUR COMMENTS ❤️

There's a lot of talking in this chapter, but it's all very important so
PLEASE DON'T BE DRY <3

❤︎︎ ❤︎︎ ❤︎︎

-Angelina-

JUDE AND I DECIDED TO GO BACK TO HIS HOUSE.

I was reluctant at first, mostly because Mateo is sick and I thought it would be better to take him home. However, the more I considered it, the more I realised my mind was probably using that as an excuse to avoid the inevitable conversation Jude and I need to have with one another.

I'm not very good at facing my problems, especially when they involve having to sit down and have a serious conversation with someone. I never used to have this issue; articulating my feelings and being honest about my emotions was never something I previously struggled with.

However, after being in such an unhealthy relationship with Jason, my mind became accustomed to the conflict that always came with trying to tell him how I felt. He would always find a way to make everything my fault—to belittle and insult me—and never take any responsibility for the effect his actions had on me.

It came to a point where I was too scared to ever mention my feelings to him again, and that fear has stuck with me ever since.

I don't necessarily believe that Jude will behave in the same way as Jason—after all, he is the one who suggested we talk. However, I also didn't believe Jude would ever throw my pain back in my face, and I ended up being wrong, so trying to convince myself that Jude wouldn't talk to me like Jason did has been somewhat of a challenge.

But, as I sit alone on Jude's couch, waiting for him to come back from the kitchen, I try to encourage myself to be open-minded. Jude is not Jason, and Jude has made me far happier than Jason ever did—that's what I need to remind myself.

I'm sitting with my legs tucked up next to me on the couch, my hands resting on my knees. Across from me on the other couch, Mateo lays with his sleeping head against a pillow and a blanket over his body. Jude said Mateo could sleep in one of his spare rooms, but I figured it would be better to keep him in my sight, considering that he's ill. That way, I can keep an eye on him and make sure he's okay.

I feel terrible about bringing Mateo to the shops with me. I'm relieved that he's had his medicine now and can finally get some rest—but at what cost? I know deep down he's probably freaked out about what happened tonight, even if he can't fully grasp what went down, but I have no idea how I'm going to talk to him about it. It's not like I can tell him the complete truth about why a strange man followed us home, but if I don't tell him anything, will I just install a permanent fear in his brain?

I don't know.

"Here."

A cup of tea appears in front of my eyes, making me jump slightly as I'm pulled from my thoughts. Jude's fingers clench around the rim of the white mug, waiting for me to take it from him as I almost laugh at the colour—I wouldn't expect anything less.

"Thank you," I say softly, carefully taking the cup into my own hands. I place it on the side of my knees, jumping slightly at the warmth that attacks my skin before quickly getting used to it.