Crowned Desires

8} The Information

Celeste Lawrence 

It dawned on me that my hesitation and near-infatuated staring made me look strange and contrasted the scarlet letter I'd carefully sewn to my chest.

"Of course I have. Yours is just particularly horrifying." My face felt hot, and the lies in my mouth burned like acid. I tore my eyes up to his inquisitive face, a curious smile playing at his lips while he crossed those large arms across his chest.

Focus, focus, focus. I begged my mind, the whole reason for my visit down here finally resurfacing in my mind, giving me something to think about other than the nearly naked man in front of me.

"Is that so."

My heart panged with panic, worried my true inexperience showed. If he knew, it would ruin everything.

"I came here for a reason not to futz around with you."

He walked over to a wardrobe and pulled out a pair of trousers. Stilling, he glanced over at me with an expectant look. I realized what he was waiting for and turned around to face the wall, my red-hot blush burning at the apples of my cheek.

I heard the towel drop, and my throat closed. He spoke, "Well then, don't let me stop you. What do you want."

Staring at the cold stone wall, I willed my mind back into focus, finally registering the room. "What was that lady talking about today? What are these attacks?" My heart hammered with the memory of her piercing cries, the sheer desperation strewn across her eyes. I had never felt more powerless and ignorant than I did that morning.

There I sat at the head of the room, my existence holding power over people, yet I was utterly clueless about their hardships.

I heard shuffling, then two steps and Gray stood before me. His chest was still bare, but now he was wearing pants at least.

I looked up into his face, his eyebrows knotted together as a comical smile captured his weary lips, "You can't be serious." A weak chuckle sounded from his lips, but that smile fell when my grave expression didn't waver. "Are you?"

"Tell me everything you know."

His eyes flicked across my face while a serious expression hardened over his features, "The attacks are happening all over the kingdom. By this group, we are calling the anarchists. We aren't super certain about their motive, but the main theory is unrest with the crown. You're seriously trying to sit here and pretend like you didn't know that's been going on?"

I was playing a game with my heart, trying to decide if I wanted to be furious with this newfound information and how he delivered it to me like I was some useless half-wit. Or horrified this was all happening right under my nose. All of it showed on my face in a blank stare of shocked confusion. I slowly shook my head and looked down at my shoes.

"How...how many casualties." I managed to mutter out.

He laughed sharply, a condescending pierce to his words, "This week or so far?"

"So far." I wanted to sound sure and authoritative, but all that muttered out was shaky fear, bracing for the answer like a punch to my gut.

"Let's see, they've wiped out a little less than a dozen villages, so I'd say five thousand?"

The number hit me below the belt, catching me off guard and slightly nervous. I imagined ten thousand people like the screaming girl from today, all once promised glowing futures, now left to ruins, with war-soaked tears streaming down their helpless faces.

My throat closed up, and I took a stumbled step back. The room's edges grew fuzzy and dark, and I questioned momentarily if I could stay upright.

This must have alerted Gray because he skirted to my side and took my elbow in his arms. The simple movement held me tethered to the earth while my heart and mind spun out.

"You really didn't know?" He mumbled, all the mockery drained from his voice, "Your parents didn't tell you." There was a growling edge of anger in those words, which I assumed grew past his hatred towards me and for my parents.

"I'm not included in anything diplomatic. My purpose is clear and already...situated, so there isn't much need to concern me with anything besides dresses, husbands, and how I'm making them look." I managed to calm my breathing and look up at him.

His expression only made me feel worse. He stared at me like I was some pitiful, inept creature, no good for anything other than what I had just mentioned. I hardened my look into a glare and ripped my arm from his grasp.

Who was he to look at me that way when he was no better than a footman right now? What was he doing to stop any of this?

"If I'd known that, I would have stopped what happened today. Helped her."

He raised an eyebrow at me and smirked with disbelief, which only made me want to punch him more, "Don't throw stones like that when you're living in a glass castle, my lady. Royalty doesn't help anyone but themselves."

I stepped closer to him, feeling the cascading layers of my anger bubble up and align right for him. The sharpened arrow of my rage channeled through my finger as I jabbed it into his bare chest. I squared my face towards him, "Stop acting like you have me all figured out. Like you know me."

He grabbed my wrist and, in a swift blink, spun me around and pinned me back against the door. The hand I used to jab at him was pressed against the cool wood, similar to how his body slipped perfectly against mine.

"I have all you royals figured out, especially you, Princess."

My plush lips pulled into a tight smile that acted as the dam for my bustling laughter. I knew exactly what this guard thought of me, what he thought my story was. It's what everyone assumed, what I fed them to believe. But they were all wolves eating out the lamb's hand.

He was so entirely wrong. It was comical.

I would love to see the look on all those exiled guards' faces if they found out they lost it all to a woman with just as much experience as a nun.

I narrowed my eyes into sly slits, tilting my head gently, "I like that you believe that." My hand slithered down the door until it found the door nob. I stealthily twisted it until the door came unlatched, and we both stumbled out.

However, I anticipated it and stepped free of the man while he nearly fell into the stone wall face first. His hands lashed out, and caught himself on the wall in the narrow hallway.

Doing one push-up off the stone put him back on his feet, and he snapped his burning glare my way.

I already started off down the hallway, shaking my head. My fists clenched at my sides as the new information swirled around with fresh hurt in my chest.

"You know nothing about me, Gray. Remember that, if nothing else." I spoke before turning around and stalking back to the servant's door I came from. 

~•~