Hubert's quest for love...

Chapter 1: Big Macs and love stacks

YES! IT FINALLY HAPPENED! SHE SAID YES! After 5 years of begging Jenna finally agreed to go on a date with me! I may have had to tell her I've set her up on a blind date with a friend... but when she lays her beautiful deep brown eyes on my strapping self, she will be overjoyed, im sure of it! Jenna is the prettiest girl at the primary school. All the other men want her, but she's MINE! She's also a really kind girl, all the kids love her! I've given her the address, but i may have told her she's meeting her date at club 96, the hottest bar in town, but I've given her directions to McDonalds, my favourite eatery, and it's convenient for me because I live right above it, plus it's MUCH cheaper and a teachers salary won't take me far, she'll get it. I've put on my nice fedora and put my hair in a low ponytail for this, I've gotta look hot.

GET THIS! So I'm waiting outside the eatery for her, and I picked some of those yellow flowers from a local field because I want this date to escalate, if you know what I mean, I think they're an exotic plant called weeds! But when she gets out her uber and saw that she was at McDonalds, she had a disgusted look on her face! JEEZ, how stuck up... anyways she came over to me and asked where her date is, and that's when I dropped the minor secret that I was the date! Her face may not have said it, but I KNOW she was overjoyed. Quick tip for you men who do not have a clue about how to talk to females, they love being called M'lady, they really REALLY do. When we were FINALLY seated, I said "so Jennifer, are you happy to see me??" She said that 1. Her name is Jenna, and 2. I told her that she was meeting my friend, Kyle. And I was like "uhm my middle name is Kyle so you shouldve known it was me?.." She let out a sigh, probably out of relief, I mean who wouldn't want all of this?

The waitor was taking FOREVER to take our order, so I had to whistle and click my fingers to get him to come over, its so hard to find good service nowadays... But it turns out this boy was Jennine's ex boyfriend! I have no idea what she saw in that tree, those muscles make him look like a bodybuilder of something, what girl wants that? They're having a little conversation and I can feel myself going super saiyan, so I interrupted them by saying "Ahem, waitor boy, we will have two big mac meals, pronto!" Then Jarmaine goes "oh um actually I'm vegan.." I have no clue why she brought that up, I assume that it was an attempt at the lost art of "small talk".. hmph, she needs to learn how to talk to males if she wants to land a stud like me. I cut her off by saying "THAT WILL BE ALL BOY." Now all I have to do is woo her so she will woohoo with me..

Jemima is almost perfect, but I do not approve of her fragrance, she smells like she's trying too hard.. so I've made her a remedy that will surely keep those other boys away. I gave it to her, I named it "Joyce smell", after her. She was gagging with joy from the smell, so I'm hoping the other men will know she's mine, as I've marked her with my pheromones.

When our food FINALLY ARRIVED, I knew what I must do.. my homemade cheese sauce is to die for, so I want to share this with my queen Jessica. Before she could even speak I put dollops of my creation all over he burger, that'll surely seal the deal. But out of nowhere, she says something along the lines of being vegan or something then storms of to the little ladies room, all I can think is that she's really proud to be vegan, I feel bad but I must tell her that vegans aren't real, like I know Jillian can't turn into a bat, right? All of a sudden, I hear a voice coming from the girls powder room with a girl screaming about being on the worst date ever, she goes into detail about how the guy is hideous, smells, has ordered her a big mac when she's said she's vegan, and then put some type of sauce on it. Wow, I feel so sorry for that female, some guys just don't know how to treat a lady. The woman then said that she's going to tell the clueless man that her roommate called and told her that her house is on fire, and from the sounds of it, I can't blame her. Coincidentally, M'lady Juliet came out with the same tale about her home bursting up in flames, and that she has to leave immediately. I offer her a ride on my scooter but she politely declined and leaves. Atleast one good thing came out of this, I got two big macs all to myself!

On Monday, all the staff were avoiding me, they must be intimidated by my masculine aura, but unfortunately I found a note in my pigeon hole from Jolene saying that our courtship is not going to work, and she believes that it will be better if we don't communicate with one another so it will be less awkward... Oh well.. her loss.