[ "Am I in love with them or am I in love with the idea of being in love" ]
INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCE.
- Mentions of suicide
-Assault
-abuse
-substance abuse/ Addiction
-illegal activities
-suggestive language/ profanity
-smut
Inspired by the song
'nuts' | Lil peep, rainy bear
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Chapter 01 - The terror
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I groan as my mothers hand comes in contact with my cheek. I cup my cheek in hope to ease the pain, but it continues to sting
"Get the fuck out of my house, y/n! I don't want to see your face." Her voice is demanding. It always has scared me when she yells ever since I was a kid. "I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR DISRESPECT TOWARDS ME AND YOUR FATHER"
I click my tongue in annoyance and bite my tongue "father doesn't care for me or you, you know that,"
She grabs my arm, digging her nails deep into my skin and forcefully dragging me towards the front door. I yell, telling her that she's hurting me, yet she doesn't care.
"your father loves us very much you ungrateful whore!"
I force my arm back, stumbling once more onto the sharp edge of the gray, cheep marble counter and groaning in pain, the edge stabbing me on the side of my stomach. That's gonna leave a bruise.
"He comes home every night at midnight with a new hickey on his neck and always makes excuses about it. He's always drunk out of his mind spending the last of our money on drugs and alcohol, YOU KNOW THAT MOM"
I'm running out of breath, choking back tears as my chest heaves up and down. I start to see tears form in my mothers eyes as she grits her teeth. She doesn't want to accept the truth.
She screams, doesn't say anything just screams. She grabs a vase and throws it. I gasp stepping back
Loud bangs are heard through the wall "shut up before I call the cops" a old man's voice is heard
She chokes on her tears falling to the floor her skin grazes the broken glass on the ground. Her knees begin to bleed "Get out, y/n." She yells as she throws a pillow at me
my vision grows blurry, my throat stings "fuck you," I only cry harder.
I run to my room, Slamming the door shut. I jump on my bed; The only place I feel the slightest bit safe. I grab my pillow and hug it, My tears staining it. I tighten my crib on the pore pillow and turn angrier by the second.
I punch the pillow and silently scream, The 4 throwing me at my door. It doesn't make a sound it's soft. I sigh, Crying on to my knees. The only person that I know that understands me best right now, is myself. I hug my legs, Pressing my forehead against them.
My mothers sobs are heard in the living room
Maybe I was too hard on her. Maybe she does love me and she's just ill.
She screams, " You're the reason your father isn't around! YOUR THE FUCKONG REASON. " It sounds so genuine I believe it
Who am I kidding?
"You ruined my life"
The front door opens but the sound of it slamming shut echos through the apartment. I take a peak out the door of my bedroom, I only sigh in response of seeing my drunk deadbeat dad.
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First chapter woohoo! Sorry it was so short I'll update it.
