The Journal Of A God's Child

I thought I knew Him

Time flies so fast. I didn't even expect that I would turn into a Butterfly. Before, I was like a caterpillar without having any idea why I was living. I was just moving in a boring way then make a cocoon myself. I thought I would die after that. But someone showed me the truth. He changed me into something amazing. When I was a child, I thought He was just somebody whom I could ask something for. I thought He would give me a consequence whenever I disobey Him and make a mistake. I thought He was the cause of my lowest points and sufferings because He didn't help me. I would always ignore Him and just go with the flow of the river of bitterness. When I was a child, I thought I knew Him so much. He'll leave me alone whenever I sin against Him, displaying His displeasure. I thought that having Him and having the treasure of this world is already perfect and fine with Him. Little did I know, He's hurt.

Even though I was a hard-headed person before, He remains faithful to me. Everything was a misinterpretation. It was the negativity that made me think about those things about Him. I did not know that He was just by my side at the time when I shouted words of hatred to Him. I did not even know that when I tried to push Him, He tightened His embrace. What has touched me most? He promised me that He'll never leave me nor forsake me. For more than 10 years, who would pull himself together and be patient to someone whose patience is like a boiling water? I thought that the one pair of footprints belonged to me. It was His. He carried me through the darkest hours of my life even in the brightest. The cause of my recovery was not because of the entertainment of this world, but because of Him. How grateful I am to have Him. He told me to tell all my burdens to Him and let Him work for it. My heart was on fire as I cry with joy. I raised both of my hands and said, "Thank you."

One time, He noticed that I was posting the images of my dreams on the wall. "What is that?" I turned to Him and said, "These are my dreams. Aren't they good?" He smiled and said, "You haven't told me about your dreams." I was incredibly shocked about what He said. "I could tell you about my dreams? Even my lovelife? Anything?" He nodded. "Anything. You could open anything to me. I would not make any comment but give you advices that could be shared to others. You could also help them." I was in awe. "I have greater in store for you. I have so many plans for you. Just follow me." I decided to tear off the pictures. I want to know what He has for me. I want to know more about Him and erase all the misinterpretations I had before. I want to know His plan for me for nothing is impossible with Him. It's like having a relationship. It's like courting and dating. But we're in a father and daughter relationship that no one could ever break. "The question is... Am I ready?" He smiled and said, "Just hold my hand. Close your eyes. It doesn't matter if you're ready or not. I am here to help and take control of your future. A future that is greater than your wildest dreams." I kneeled down, lifted my hands and prayed, "thank you, God."