Danger

Chapter 22 - "You're in for it now, bro."

“Are you nervous?”

I looked over at Justin. His left hand was on the steering wheel, his other clasped around my right one. I smiled, giggling slightly. “You asked me that about a million times since yesterday and for the last time, I am fine. I think I should be the one asking you if you’re nervous. It is in fact your family who you haven’t seen in years.” I squeezed his hand.

Justin licked his lips, shrugging. “If they accept me back in, then they do. If not, I continue on with my life. As much as I miss my family, I’ve gone this long without them, I can survive eternity. You’re the one meeting them for the first time.”

I frowned. “Don’t say that…” I shook my head. “I’m sure they’ve missed you and sure, meeting them is a bit nerve wracking but you told me I have nothing to worry about so I’m not going to worry.”

Justin sighed. “What do you want me to do Kelsey? Imagine my mom and dad taking me in with open arms, forgetting all that happened in the past? You and me both know that there’s a slim chance of that ever happening.”

“How do you expect anything good to happen if all you’re going to do is think negatively?” I scowled. “What did I tell you about that?”

“I’m living in reality Kelsey, not la la land like you tend to do sometimes. This isn’t a fairytale. Good things don’t happen because you want them to or because you deserve it. This is real life. Mistakes are made, things are said and done that just cant be taken back sometimes.”

“You’re still their son Justin. Whether you made a mistake or not, they cant shun you forever. They made you.”

“You don’t understand, Kelsey. This is not petty drama like I stole from my mom or hit my dad. I got my sister killed.”

“It wasn’t your fault!” I cried back in disbelief that he was still holding that over his head.

“It doesn’t matter because in the end, I’m the monster in their eyes! I’m the one who destroyed my family.”

“Stop speaking for them.” I stated monotonously.

“What?” He looked at me and I could tell he was a bit confused.

“I said stop speaking for them. You’re making up excuses for their past accusations towards you and you’re talking as if they had recently said all of this to you . You don’t know how they feel today. You don’t know if they didn’t forgive you or if they maybe even forgot!” I vigorously threw my hands up.

Justin shrugged. “They’re my family, Kelsey. I know how they are.”

“But you’re not them. You don’t know what they are personally thinking or what they feel towards you.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “You just need to stop reading into things. Okay?”

Justin seemed to have contemplated this because he sighed, not saying anything more. I took the silence as my answer and turned around facing the front.

When Justin stopped at a red light, he took this as his opportunity to talk to me face to face. “Look…” He began, scratching the back of his head. “I know you’re just trying to see the good in all of this and I appreciate you for doing that but you’ve got to understand that what I did is something inexcusable in my parents eyes. They lost a child because of me.” I opened my mouth to interject but Justin cut me off. “I know what you’re going to say and I understand I’m their kid as well but its because of me that they lost one and instead of having three kids they now have two.”

I fumbled with my fingers, knowing he had a point.

“You understand now what I’m trying to say?” He looked at me before moving his gaze out towards the road before him, noticing that the traffic light turned green and driving once more.