Sitting in some ridiculously overpriced restaurant to celebrate my nineteenth birthday, I soullessly stared into space. Don't get me wrong though, I wasn't alone because my two best friends had been thoughtful enough to surprise me with a dinner. The only problem was that instead of a birthday party, it felt more like a group date... and I was the only one without a partner.
Jung Yoona and Goo Hara had been my besties ever since middle school and they would always surprise me with something on my birthday. Most of the times I loved it, but this year however, I wished I'd stayed home and finished reading Relativity by Albert Einstein, because it was a lot more fun than being sandwiched between two couples who had no attention for me.
Yoona and Hara had planned this dinner behind my back, even though I had constantly told them they didn't need to arrange anything special. I had to admit that a little part of me had secretly been expecting something after all because it was our tradition to get together on our birthdays and smother each other with special attention, but it seemed that they preferred clinging to their boyfriends instead.
I irritably glanced in both directions before exhaling in defeat. I couldn't even leave to go to the bathroom because it was way too awkward to interrupt them while they were in the middle of feeding each other and doing their cute couple things. In the end I had no choice but to hold it in and sit still, wondering if they actually came for me or if it was some excuse they used to get away from home and spend more time with their boyfriends.
I sighed and looked down at the cake that read 'Happy Birthday Kim Mirae' across the top and then at all the other food in front of me. Not having anything better to do, I decided I was going to eat it all while the others were busy being all mushy. And it's not like I had anyone to show my fake ladylike etiquette to.
I was in the middle of slurping up a bowl of jjajjangmyun when I began pondering over my situation a little more, wondering if I'd be like this too if I had a boyfriend. I couldn't picture it because I'd never had a boyfriend before -not because I wasn't interested in a relationship though, it's just that no one had ever asked me out. As a science student I was always locked away in the laboratory like a hermit and the rest of the time I worked at a prestigious electronics company -as a cleaning lady- to fund my studies. Basically, the sad truth was that I rarely came into contact with people, let alone potential boyfriends.
By now I had moved onto my third dish when I noticed Hara miraculously turn away from her guy for once. "Guys! Should we go to karaoke after this?" She suggested, to which Yoona agreed without hesitation and clapped her hands together excitedly.
"It'll be so much fun!" Hara continued as she looked up at her boyfriend with a cute smile, almost making him melt into a puddle. The only thing I ever remembered melting were chemicals in the laboratory, and that wasn't in any way metaphorical.
"Mirae, what do you think?" Yoona tilted her head as she looked at me with anticipation, leaving me at a loss of words because the suggestion had come out of the blue. After a moment of hesitation -in which I was just trying to figure how to word my refusal nicely- I put my chopsticks down and swallowed my food so that I could respond without grossing out everyone at the table.
"You guys go ahead." I smiled awkwardly. "I still have a lot of cramming to do for an exam tomorrow..." Of course, I knew that was just an excuse, but what was I going to do there anyway? They barely had any attention for me so I was certain I'd just end up sitting in a corner eating again whilst listening to them singing cheesy duets. It had been like this for me ever since these two had started dating, abandoning me in the forever-alone boat.
"Aish, Mirae." Hara whined. "You're always busy with work. It's your birthday!"
Yoona nodded again in agreement as she reached out to load some of the whipped cream from her slice of cake on her finger before putting it in her mouth.
"Sorry guys." I mused with a sheepish smile, not wanting to carry on with this subject. I had plenty of free time tonight, but I didn't like playing the role of the third wheel.
It took barely another half an hour for me to finish the rest of the food and lean back with my hand on my stomach. I was satisfied that I had at least reached the goal I set. Yoona hadn't even noticed that her grilled chicken leg was missing because she was too busy being fed by her boyfriend. I had always been pretty goal orientated since a young age, so no matter what it was I would find a way to create an aim out of it and make it my mission to accomplish it no matter what. I guess you could say I got some kind of thrill out the satisfaction you get once you reach the goal.
I put my chopsticks down and noticed that Hara had finished eating too and by now everyone at the table was starting to look bored as well. Guessing that they wanted to go to the karaoke already, I did them a favour by getting up from my seat on my own accord. They all looked up at me questioningly as I went on to grab my coat.
"Thank you for the birthday meal guys, and the cake too! I really loved it!" I smiled gratefully, because I wasn't lying. I really did appreciate that I had best friends who would do this for me. Anyone who had a lover would want to spend as much time with them as possible, so I couldn't really blame them. It just felt pointless to linger around with them awkwardly, sticking out like a sore thumb. So I reckoned it was time for me to go home and let them head to the karaoke.
"Are you going home already?" Yoona asked, "Are you sure you don't want to join us for karaoke?"
I nodded. "You know how much I stress out when I don't get work done as planned..."
"I guess that's true." Hara sighed in defeat.
"I'll see you guys next time! Really, thanks!" I said, picking up the rest of the cake before I carefully wobbled past Yoona and her boyfriend to get out without dropping it on them.
They all waved goodbye to me with wide grins as I left the restaurant. After a few steps down the road, I exhaled with an empty feeling in my chest. I hadn't always felt this strange in life, because I was rather content just doing my own thing in the lab. But recently I had been feeling like something was missing in my life -something that was long overdue for a nineteen year old girl.
I continued walking home, holding onto my cake firmly and watching as couples of all ages walked past me around every turn and corner of the journey.
