A Love Restrained by Many

PROLOGUE

Here I was in my room, staring straight in the ceiling as I recall everything, piece by piece. A smile I don't what to call emerged in my face. It was a combination of happiness and pain, I suppose. I was calm, for I had done this a couple of times already. It's just that there's this part within that wants to go back and risk everything, but I'm glad I didn't. I was content with the things that brought me into my own paradise. I learned and survived while dealing with my own little life.

Realizations and acceptance came into my system as a tear fell across my cheek. It was the last night that I had to deal with those thoughts again.

Morning came. I stayed in bed for a bit and prepared myself for our Galentines picnic at the nearby park. My undereye was a little puffy from my 3-minute crying session last night, so I had to hide it with a little hint of makeup.

Somehow, I felt free.

It was like all my burdens had gone somewhere I didn't know overnight. I felt like there was nothing that could restrain me from doing something anymore. Nothing to prevent me to start a new.

As I looked in the mirror, ready to go, flashbacks went straight to my head-but it felt like a normal memory, no such thing as what you call "special". It made me smile in contentment, for I was no longer affected by the image of him and me.

I didn't regret that journey with him though. I learned a lot. Lessons that I, myself would only learn from my own experience.

Everyone around me warned me about him, but I still looked for the best in him. And by the time that I finally saw it, it was time for me to leave.

I honestly didn't expect it to last, but I didn't expect it to end so soon either.

It was something that was out of our control. Strings were left untangled and questions were left unanswered, up until now.

Realizing that love isn't the answer to everything. In some instances, it can also lead to a different path, especially if it is not the one that you thought it would be.

Sometimes it's only worth the lessons. Not the life-time setting. But eventually, it makes you a better person.

"Kylie, you're glowing in these photos, don't you think? It's like you've got rid a lot of heavy loads in your shoulders. Also, I love your outfit today." Leanne said while showing me my photos that we took a moment ago.

I smiled upon hearing the compliment, but of course I couldn't help but think of who I was when I was with him. I loved that version of me the most, even if I don't know what it was in the first place. It's like I loved the unknown version of me. But the thought of me starting a different path without him was worth a shot.

Having this circle of friends that guided and supported me was something that I'll always be thankful for. They never left my side since the start that I met them. A friendship that grew naturally within each of us.

Taking a new step into my own paradise was as peaceful as I imagined, and yet my story went for the loop.