I've always kept my feelings hidden because it seemed like nobody cared about me. When I was young, my dad yelled a lot, and it made me feel really sad, even though I didn't understand it back then.
Even now, I still feel that sadness, and it's like a reflex for me to get angry when someone raises their voice. I do it to protect myself, to keep my pride intact.
When I was in school, my teachers would often call me names like "idiot," and it made me rebel. I got really good at hiding how I felt.
But looking back, I realize that was a mistake. Keeping all those feelings inside turned me into someone I didn't want to be. But really, I'm just trying to figure it all out.
Understanding feelings is hard, you know? Is it okay to be sad? Is it okay to get angry? Maybe it's okay to cry or punch something?
The scariest part isn't feeling bad; it's not knowing why you feel that way.
One day, I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I yelled and cried, feeling like I was losing control. My hands shook, and I ended up hitting my head on the wall. Eventually, I calmed down and cried quietly in my room until I fell asleep.
The next morning, I felt a bit better, but I still felt like disappearing.
But then I realized maybe I'm not as worthless as I thought. Maybe there's still hope for me to change.
So, I decided to forgive those who hurt me and start working on myself. It's a journey, and it's okay to make mistakes along the way.
YOU ARE READING
YOOHAN TANRAH
Non-FictionWhy pick up this book? Are you finding it tough to let someone or something go? Or are you holding on to someone who's already gone? This isn't about forgetting or moving on like usual. This book is all about helping you become a better version of y...
