Cam's Guide to Navigating Rock Bottom

2 - Rejection

C H A P T E R 2

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I was never one to believe in divine intervention.

However, through the multiple interactions and the glaring signs the universe threw at me, I was inclined to try to follow up just this once before I gave up entirely.

I would like to argue and say this was all on a whim but lying to myself wasn't my favorite pastime. The idea had festered in my mind long before I had reached my wit's end: the thought sparked by the causal mention of his impressive academic record.

My tutors used his notes as a reference and another texted him for clarification on a question. And after that, the universe kept all but shoving reminders of his being towards me. On the nights my body betrayed me, my mind began to wander. One too many times, he heavily occupied my thoughts.

Six tutors, four teachers, and an obscene amount of YouTube videos later, I had reached my limit. Desperation had truly become me. With each passing moment, my situation had transfigured from pitiful to dire. But there was a flicker of hope.

Said hope standing behind thick white walls in the confines of the visitor's changing room.

Okay. I'll admit my intentions for coming to this game were not entirely pure. It was self-serving to the highest degree, but I did not care. There wasn't any guarantee he would help but what else did I have to lose?

Even bound to the confines of the narrow hallways I could hear the aftermath of the riveting match even from where I stood. Silver City students had moved in silence. A dark cloud loomed over those who sported blue and black, all mourning the brutal loss. The solemn mood was intensified by the shouting of Sagewood students who through and through celebrated their win. Their cries were loud enough to cause the harsh fluorescent lights overhead to flicker.

Iseul had sent an incessant number of messages all relating to Ezekiel's expected meltdown at the loss. I was not expected to do anything, but my assumption was they wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Corroborated by five texts sent back-to-back asking where the hell I was.

He had always been a sore loser and their loss against Sagewood was not taken as a team loss but a personal one. He had failed as a player and leader. It was intensified by the fact that it was at the hands of Raphael Cavanaugh. With each text Iseul sent I had no desire to go back home. Ezekiel's volatile mood was one to avoid.

I had stood outside and counted the bodies leaving the room. Each time they passed by, they regarded me with suggestive glances, crude comments floating in the space between us.

The picture wasn't all that pretty, I admit.

They, no doubt, thought I was one of the many guys or girls who threw themselves toward anyone who sported a letterman jacket. In another lifetime that would be how I chose to spend my senior year, but nursing a broken heart prohibited such.

The air was thick with sweat and a horrid concoction of perfume, body spray, and cologne. I had refrained from breathing in through my mouth. Unfortunately, I had breathed in enough to make my mouth water uncomfortably and nausea climb up my torso.

Well, that's what I wished it was but the gurgling of my stomach hinted otherwise. Nerves had filled my being. At the unfamiliarity of the situation and the possibility of rekindling something that had died a long time ago.

It had been a year and some change since we last interacted. I had the uncanny ability to make myself disappear if need be, and that's exactly what I did the moment our relationship ended. My appearance at any football game became increasingly non-existent, and all in all, I avoided the general public.