To Burn For

Chapter 2

Water which would easily scold almost anyone else, slowly rose around Aidana's body. She hissed as it sent raging pain through the torn open skin on her arm. She turned away from the wretched thing. The end of her nose scrunched as she simply endured it; deserved it even.

Her body sank deeper and deeper until she was fully submerged in the bubbleless tub. For a moment she was no one, she was utterly nothing. She was just a girl holding her breath in her dingy bathroom. Darkness pooled behind her eyelids. It forced her to look into the chasm of her mind. The true version of herself and it laughed at her. Taunted her.  Provoked the beast that lurked within. Reminded her of everything that could not be undone.

She forced her mental blockade in place only to be met with silence. At least before, without her shield up, she felt, even if it was guilt and regret. Now she felt nothing. She was an empty vessel; a shipless harbor; a book without pages; a desert without an oasis; a heart without a beat. The silence in her head grew. The static screaming. Her inner turmoil raged through her as she tried to contain it. If she truly let out what was inside, she would rupture into temper and sin, into a burning supernova spiraling for destruction that powerful, it would bring all realms to their knees. So she hadn't and she wouldn't. Instead it burnt her insides. It ached and ached. Her muscles were screaming in agony as she kept it inside. She held on until her lungs collapsed. The rush of water was immense, it gargled down her airways as she thrusted herself into a seated position. Her fingertips melted into the gold of her tub as she spluttered the water back out. 
  

The grandfather clock in the entrance way of her quarters chimed twelve, signifying lunch was to be served. It brought her sharply back into the world and back into her body as she stepped out of the bath. The idea of sitting in a huge hall with everyone else made her nauseous and that balanced out the nausea of being in solitude today.

She sighed, closing the door to her wardrobe. She wouldn't be needing formal attire as she forced herself into her casual ensemble of black pants, black long sleeve, boots and her thigh knife strap. Even if this place was supposed to be mutual, this place was full to the brim with all manners of strength and trickery. She wouldn't let their promise to Oar, to never harm another being in their home, blind her to the realities of society. She knew she wasn't particularly liked among their kind; Oar’s prodigy; Oar's dearest. Though it didn't come easy for her, not that the others cared or bothered to learn. Aidana had worked and grafted since the beginning of her creation. Maximizing and mastering every aspect. Whenever she went, whichever realm she worked for, she sponged and observed their way of life; trained in their unique methods of combat and defense and became champion. No style unsuitable. No level unobtainable. No skill unmasterable. A perfectly sculptured and polished weapon.
  

She shifted herself to her study as walking there would be risky. If she saw anyone, they would force her to socialize. Her study was across the palace and situated in the tower, the tallest building around and it was all hers. Everyone else had studies even in or adjoining their bedrooms, however, she had practically begged Oar for her to have the tower.

At the foot of the tower there was an arched doorway warded and locked against every spell and weapon. No one could get in unless Aidana wanted them to. It truly was her safe space. Leaning against the door, she sighed, finally, truly home. There was nothing on the ground level of the tower, just a spiral staircase winding upwards. With pace, she climbed them, her legs accustomed to the strength needed to get to the top.

Upon reaching the top, another door came into view, equally warded. The main room at the top, circular in shape, had floor to ceiling libraries. Shelves full to bursting with literature, research and knowledge on every single other realm in existence. Books detailing every creature and creation. On every spell, every power, everything. In the center, there was a huge mahogany desk full with opened books, pages covered with her handwriting and a small green cactus with its pink bloom open on top- an existence present from Caedan.
  

After a particularly tricky mission, she had once come back truly injured. It had been the only time she had accepted Oar’s healing. She was absolutely mortified to have accepted that help, mortified to have let herself get to that state. She locked herself in this tower day and night after it, refusing to leave until she had properly analyzed why things had gone so wrong on that mission and how she had lost so much. Caedan came day and night trying to enter and she refused him until his relentlessness grew thin and she caved letting him through her wards.  Her lip tugged up as she recalled him standing in the doorway with the terracotta plant pot in his hands and his speech as he handed it over, I'm pleased you still exist. And of course she frowned at the spiky thing in his palm and demanded to know why he had gotten her a cactus. All he said was like calls to like, you prickly, pretty thing. Yet she shoved him out of her study slamming the door in his face.
  

It took her two days and nights to finally leave her tower, to search for him and thank him for the only present she had ever received but he was gone to slay a scorpion and she had to face Emperor Jarker. Her fingertip ran around the rim of the pot, another sigh escaping her lips.
  

There was plenty of seating in the room, a collection of armchairs and sofas, but she took her usual spot on the floor, in the corner. She rested her head back and looked up at the dome glass roof. Dawn clouds filled the sky above, positive energy radiating through. With a click of her finger the whole dome transferred to a cloudy midnight sky. Dark and soothing.
  

Footsteps echoed up the stairwell and into her study.  Her breath paused as she awaited for his voice to slice straight through the silence and darkness she had wrapped herself in.  The footsteps grew louder as Caedan strode right to her, the wards letting him. His nocturnal ability always came in use around Aidana and her darkness. He placed a glass and a plate down onto the floor, the familiar ching of pottery ringing through her ears as he sank down next to her, his shoulder brushing hers. Almost instantly, her shoulders dipped and lent the smallest of fractions into him. He recognized her silence and what she needed. He would irritate her with his words later. But right now, he would sit with her until it passed.
   

Time passed, Aidana’s head laid on his shoulder, his scarred hand intertwined with her much softer one. He was always amazed by its velvet smoothness despite the atrocious acts she delivered and the flame she produced.

The darkness that had wrapped itself around her slowly began to loosen its grip.  “It was dull in there without you,” his chest laughed, and he swore he felt the slightest of movements from Aidana. “I'll let you off though, but you're not allowed to leave me to face all of them tonight,” he warned, desperation clear in his tone.

She rolled her eyes and sat herself back up. She hadn't been aware of the warmth Caedan had passed through to her until it was gone and she missed it, though she would die before she admitted it. The safety of him, her dear friend, her only family, would be her greatest weakness and never again would she be so stupid.
   Caedan placed the drink in her grasp. “Is it poisoned?” Her tone was frighteningly honest. Caedan smiled, the room lightening with moon light.

He shook his head with sadness, “no of course not,” she put the goblet to her lips, “well, I did add some herbs, healing herbs,” Caedan glanced at the still weeping gash on her arm. Her breath hitched as she paused on the sentiment. The moment passed as she rolled her eyes ridding herself of her stubbornness. Putting it to her lips, she drank the entire contents of the goblet. She threw it at the nearest wall as the skin healed leaving no trace that it ever existed.
   “You're welcome,” Caedan smirked, she flipped him off.
   “Eat, you need it,” his usual deep bellow, a subtle softness.
   “If you need me, you know where I am,” he ruffled her hair before departing.
  She ate every last crumb.

a/n
Any comments welcomed ☺️ pls press the ⭐