YOUR POV
I don't know what to expect. Yelling? Silence? Questioning? Either way, everything in my body is telling me to run.
- Bucky : WHAT THE HELL?
- Wanda : Woah
- Bucky : YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME THAT MILA WAS MY DAUGHTER? THAT HYDRA TOOK SOMETHING ELSE FROM ME? HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS A SECRET FROM ME? SIT ACROSS FROM ME AND TELL ME HOW THE GUARDS USED TO HURT YOU TO GET YOU PREGNANT, KNOWING THAT MY CHILD WAS CONCEIVED IN THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES-
- Natasha : SHUT UP, you're scaring her
- Bucky : What?
Everyone says it's fight or flight. I think there's a third option, freeze. It's the middle ground. I want to run, every muscle in my body is telling me to run but my brain is telling me to fight, stand here and yell at him, tell him why I kept it a secret but I can't move. It doesn't matter what I try to do, nothing is working.
- Natasha : You need to step outside this room and take a second to breathe, to think things through. Go on a walk if you need to. Yelling is not the answer. Wanda, I need you to-
- Wanda : Don't touch her, she's not here. Some kind of trauma flashback
- Natasha : What do I do?
- Wanda : Go and find Mila. The only thing keeping her somewhat grounded is Mila
He's going to take her away, he's a threat. I need to eliminate all threa-
- Wanda : Shh, he's just upset. He's not going to take her away. He's not a threat
- Maria : What's all the yelling for?
- Natasha : Look, it's Mama
- Mila : Mama sad. You need a hug Mama?
- y/n : Mila
- Mila : It's okay Mama
It's sad that Mila knows what to do when I'm like this, to sit by me until I move to hold her. It just doesn't work when she needs me and I need space.
- Maria : What?
- Natasha : Y/n is my half sister, Bucky is Mila's father
- Maria : Oh
- Yelena : You can't just run off with Mila like that. Y/n would kill me if she got hurt. What's wrong with Y/n?
- Mila : It's okay Mama. Auntie Lena is here
- Yelena : Let's give your Mama some space Mia
- Natasha : Can we stop watching Y/n? Yelena, take Mila to the playroom. Maria, Wanda, please just give us a minute
- Maria : Of course. We'll be with them in the playroom
- Natasha : Right, hands. Come on, up. We're stood, okay. Let's grab you a chair so you're not crouched down. Bucky was just feeling everything out loud. I won't let him hurt you or hurt Mila
- y/n : I'm sorry Ma'am
- Natasha : Hey, it's me, Natasha. None of that 'Yes Ma'am, no Ma'am' stuff here. Let me get you a drink
- y/n : Stay, please
- Natasha : Okay, okay. I'm here, I'll be here as long as you need
This is what I needed growing up. I didn't need to be screamed at or hurt beyond belief. I needed someone to sit with me, listen to me.
- Bucky : Erm, can I come in?
- Natasha : Yeah. Just sit on the other side of the table not on-
- Bucky : The floor gives her control over the situation. It puts her on a higher ground. I'm sorry for shouting Y/n. I shouldn't have done that, I am just upset that I have missed a lot of Mila's life and that Hydra have taken something else off of me
- Natasha : She needs to know you're not going to run off with Mila
- Bucky : I would never. She's your daughter, I just- I just want to know her, she's half me and if it's okay with you I want her to know I'm her father
- y/n : Mhm
- Bucky : I really am sorry for shouting
- Natasha : We all need time to think about what our next move is. Bucky obviously wants to be a part of Mila's life, as her father, Y/n wants to protect Mila and I want to protect my family
- Bucky : Okay
- y/n : You can't take Mila
- Bucky : I promise I won't, Mila is your daughter. I would never
How do I even tell Mila that Bucky is her father?
- Mila : MAMAAA
- Yelena : I'm sorry, she ran off and I couldn't catch her
- y/n : It's okay Mila, I've got you
I could start but letting Bucky and Mila spend time together, just doing whatever. At the park, in the playroom, practising her counting. I just don't want to leave them alone, the what if's would be constantly in my mind.
- Natasha : We've got an idea Mia. Bucky is going to start spending some time with you everyday. You can show him all your toys and puzzles
- Mila : Yayyy
- Natasha : Auntie Lena or me will be there too
- Mila : What about Mama?
- Natasha : It means Mama can do boring stuff
It means I get a little bit of time, everyday, to just breathe and have a minute to myself. It means Bucky gets the chance to know Mila.
- Mila : Mama, look at my drawing
- y/n : It looks cute
- Natasha : What is it?
- Mila : It's Mama and me and Auntie Lena and Auntie Tasha
- Natasha : What?
- Mila : Auntie Lena says you're Auntie Tasha
- Natasha : You're adorable Mia. Come here. I love you
- Mila : I love you too Auntie Tasha
I need to work on this whole opening up thing without feeling the urge to push people away afterwards.
Authors Note
Have a drink and
a snack please
YOU ARE READING
It's All for You
FanfictionI don't need them, I need Mila and that is it. We've done perfectly fine on our own this long. I've got my job, I've got childcare, I'm living. Sure, this is my first time ever living alone but I think I'm doing pretty well most of the time. Wanda...
