We're All Gonna Die

Chapter 1

TW//MENTION OF SUICIDE

Myles had known two things from an early age. He was a boy and he was alone in the world. Yes, his friends accepted him and wouldn't misgender him but it never felt like they saw him as a boy. They just memorised his pronouns. And yeah, that arguably was a good thing. They respected him enough not to call him a girl but it was one of the things that hurt the most. It was different from being transphobic. He was never once judged or ridiculed but it never felt like they believed he was a boy.

Sighing, Myles dragged himself out of bed. Another day where he had to put up a front, maybe if he put it up long enough, it would become him. He took off his bonnet and looked at his messy dreads. The roots were matting together and in need of a retwist but he couldn't find time to set out a day to get his hair done. He hopped in the shower, making sure to properly scrub his chest to make binding easier later.

He walked into his room and searched through the laundry baskets for a shirt with a clean collar, smelling the armpits to be sure it was clean. He put on the rest of his uniform and headed down the stairs. His mum was in the kitchen getting ready for work.

"Good morning mum."

"Good morning love, how are you?"

"Fine thanks." His mum had been the first person he came out to, at first it would seem like she was okay with it but she'd later try guilt tripping him into changing his mind, going as far as blaming him for her suicide attempt and then moving on like it never happened. Choosing to act like the conversations didn't take place but the damage had been done, and there was no forgetting that.

She looked up from where she was packing her lunch and gave him a once over. Her gaze lingered on his chest, "what bra are you wearing?" He froze what kind of fucking question was that?

"Uhh, the one you got me a couple months ago."

"Looks like you need new ones. That one is making your chest too flat. It's going to damage your breast structure in the future, you won't understand now but you'll thank me later."

He groaned mentally, he didn't want to go through the process of bra shopping and hoped his mum would forget about it. She bid him goodbye and was off to work. He started making a bowl of cereal when his older brother, Kenny, walked in, "you look like shit."

"Thank you for that. Can't say much about you either."

"Yeah but I have an excuse, I'm hungover, what's yours?"

"Life?"

"Cheer up. There's so much to life to live for," he chuckled knowing how much his little brother hated that saying.

"Say that to me one more fucking time and I swear to Thor I'll stab you"

"Well you're feisty today what's up?"

"Mum."

Kenny sighed, "what has she said this time?"

"She wants to take me bra shopping."

"It's okay, we'll just donate them to charity like we did last time."

"It's not that, it's just mentally draining each time I can't handle it right now."

Kenny walked up to him, putting his hands on his shoulder. "It's okay we'll figure something out. Worse case we send Veronica on her ass, she'll back down then." Myles smiled at that, remembering how much his brother's girlfriend defended him against his mother.

"Are you okay to go to school today?" Kenny asked.

"Yeah," he replied softly.

Kenny kissed his hair and gave him a light shove, "finish your breakfast. I'll drive you to school."

After Myles was done with his breakfast he and Kenny got into Kenny's car. "Kenny?"

"Yeah Bubba?"

"Can I go to your house after school?"

"Sure you can kid. You know you're always welcome. I'll tell mum later you'll be staying for a bit and Ronnie loves it when you come over."

"Thank you."

"No problem kiddo."

The car settled into a comfortable silence as they continued the journey to his school.

"Right kid, I love you, but get out, I'm gonna be late for work." Kenny said as he drove into the school parking lot.

"You're an ass."

"Love you too Kenny also thanks for the ride, I didn't want to have to take the bus," Kenny responded in a mock tone.

"Yeah, yeah, love you too."

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Decided to start this book, I have been meaning to for a while. Got all this trauma. Why not benefit from it and use it as book ideas cause I sure as hell ain't getting therapy. Please let me know what you think