22:59

17:00

After the discussion had lasted an hour, Roger and Oliver decided to take a break.

"I'll go get some donuts. Should I bring you some?" Oliver rose from his chair.

"Yes, I think that would be good, whichever ones you like. I'll put some more coffee on."

When the door closed behind Oliver, Roger sighed, rubbed his temples, leaned back in his chair, and turned to face the glass wall. The city was working. All of the lights were on in all of the nearby skyscrapers.

Roger thought about how gray the city was. Despite the course set by the government a year ago, "Let's make the city green" was the motto. Roger however had in fact never seen a single leaf.

He got up, walked closer, and leaned his forehead against the glass. He wanted to see if there were any green leaves below, but looking down from the height of the 23rd floor instantly made him think about something else, about the shapeless mass lying on the floor of Jack's cafe.

What had that man been thinking about as he stood on the edge of the roof, or the windowsill, and looked down, just as Roger was looking down now? How bad had it been for him that becoming a red-and-white pool of mush seeping down between the slabs of a dirty floor had been more tempting than life itself?

For a second Roger thought that he understood the man. The next moment, he imagined breaking the glass, taking a step and soaring down, towards infinity or eternal nothingness.

The thought that he would someday be gone sobered Roger. He took a step away from the window and continued to look down in shock. Who could, of his own free will, decide such a thing?

Roger turned around, ran to his desk and grabbed the phone. His number was there somewhere, in the incoming calls.

Finding the number he wanted, Roger pressed "dial" and waited for the long beeps to stop and be answered.

"Yes?"

"Dan, this is Roger."

"Oh! Roger! How nice to hear from you my friend!" Dan sounded like he was nervous. "I hope you have, good news?" A nervous laugh rang out from the little speaker.

"Yes, Dan. I spoke with my friend. Today or tomorrow I will send him your data and they will consider you for the trials. You may have to take some tests... But I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Yes!? Roger! You... You just have no idea what you have done for me! Until the grave I will owe you for my life!" Roger thought that Dan was going crazy with happiness.

"Okay, Dan. I'm glad I was able to help," Roger hesitated and continued, "you did not tell me something there, in the cafe. Do you remember?"

"Hmm... In the cafe? No, I don't remember," he could tell by his voice that he really didn't understand what he was talking about. Either his mind was clouded with joy, or the Black Hole was slowly doing its job, harming not only the optic nerves, but also the memory.

"We talked about the suicide," Roger blurted out.

"Oh that! And what else is there to say?"

"You said it was all about the pills. I do not quite understand what the relationship is..."

"More likely than not it is because of their price, Roger," there was a squeaky crackling sound in the receiver. Dan plopped down on his old sofa. "People like me, who cannot afford to provide their families even with normal food, are most often the patients of the free psychotherapists and other doctors who prescribe ADFECTIN to them," Dan sighed, "but we cannot afford it. It's that simple."

"Wait, but is it really so bad that a person would decide to take their own life, to stop fighting and... simply jump?" Roger winced as he remembered again the white, undercooked omelet flowing from the broken skull. He walked slowly back to the glass wall and looked down.

"Roger, you don't understand this. And you don't need to worry about it. It is unlikely that the pills will ever become so expensive that the people in your circle will not be able to afford them."

Roger stood and watched the toy seeming cars passing by below, ant people rushing about their business.

"Roger?"

"Sorry, Dan I have to go. If you need anything, you know my number."

"Don't worry so much about it Roger, it's..."

Roger dropped the conversation, not wanting to listen any further. He stood with his right hand on his solar plexus region, looked down and thought.

One day he would also be gone.

The pain... In the morning I could easily ignore the pain, but now I can't think about anything else. I can't feel anything anymore... They say that in such moments you need to focus on other sensations. The heart seems to be beating a little faster than usual, that is fear. And also, sweat is dripping from the back of my head right down the collar. Cold air from the air conditioner blows on it almost imperceptibly... How painful! Somebody stop it! Put me on the roof of the tallest skyscraper and I will take my last step without hesitation! And then there will be NOTHING. Then there will neither be this damned gray city, nor the people I hate so much, nor the stupid tasks... There will be no emotions... There will be no me... Probably, this is the most difficult thing in the life of every person, to come to terms with the fact that at some point they will cease to be. You will never wake up in the morning again, even at five frickin o'clock. You will never eat another boring omelet for breakfast until your stomach cramps. You won't say hello or goodbye to anyone. And you will never worry about anything again... God, the pain is incredible! Why is there such pain in the world?! Is it evolution that has decided to remove me from the face of the Earth? It seems that I can feel the Black Hole eating away at me... Despite the pain that seems to drown out all other feelings. What an irony for a person who idolizes this great creation of nature to be killed by what they are ready to praise until the last seconds of their life... Nature is not stupid. She knows whom to take... And, apparently, I am already rubbish, the stool of evolution.