The Sound of Silence

2. October 12th Part 1

As I lay awake in my bed staring up at my ceiling fan I come to the careful observation that I don't think I want to get up. I have to go the dmv today, which is one of the scariest places in the world to me. The outside world is so big that everytime I step out into it from my studio I feel as though I am being swallowed whole. Every step I take feels like I'm walking around with a thousand pound ankle weights on. Maybe I can put it off just for one more day and just stay in bed all day and disappear into the void.
*Ring* *Ring* "Incoming call for Kamari"
I slowly turn my head to my nightstand, contemplating if I want to answer. I instantly decide to not pick it up as I know that the conversation will be circled around how happy his life is. I just don't have the strength to be enveloped by someone's happiness right now. I close my eyes as the sound of ringing fills the silence in my apartment. It finally stops, only to be followed by another set of ringing. I look this time and it's Kaycee my sister. I sit up and grab my phone, I take a deep breath and I answer.
"Hey Kaycee."
"Hey elder brother, I'm just calling to check in on you."
"Well, I am fine. Why are you calling to check in on me? I saw you yesterday."
"Yea I know but we both know that yesterday was a hard day for you. I mean you found out that someone you considered a brother is having a boy with your ex."
"You don't have to remind me Kaycee, thank you." I say with the most annoyed look on my face.
"I have to go now Kaycee, I gotta get the DMV."
"WAIT JAYDEN!"
"What now?"
"I love you"
I stare at the phone in quiet angst because saying those three words always hurt me to my core.
"Thank you KC, we'll talk later." I respond as I hang up quickly and put my phone on DND. Being reminded of my unfortunate situation is not how I imagined my day going. It's already shaping up to be a truly lonely day and I haven't even walked outside yet...