Sal, Butter and Pepper || ONC2024

Chapter 9: Dating, what's that?

When the doorbell rang, Butter was ready to receive his mistress's potential boyfriend and, if Lord Satan willed, her future husband. He side-eyed Pepper, who, for the first time since forever, had made efforts to look extra gorgeous.

Hair, check. 

Makeup, check. 

Dress, check. 

Heels, check. 

His mistress looked like a princess. Butter felt like a proud father. His eyes stung. 

Pepper's eyes locked with her familiar's. 

"You look purrfect, my lady," he said, gesturing to her to open the door. 

"Good evening, Ms. Woodgrip," Salvador said, handing Pepper a crimson rose wrapped in an ivory cone with a pink bow tie plastered on the front. Looking past his date, he added, "Hello, little one. I hope you are feeling up for a stroll."

Yet again, Butter was struck by the man's impeccable manners. He wondered if Pepper's spell really had anything to do with it. "Meeeeow." Butter trilled. 

Sal laughed. "I think it likes me."

"He."

"Excuse me?" Sal cocked his head. 

"Butter doesn't like to be addressed as it." Pepper clarified. 

Why did his mistress have to be so…so…concerned about how Sal addressed him? She should be trying to make friends with this man who, in Butter's opinion, was a hell-sent. 

If only he could guide his mistress through this ordeal without this human…no, all of his kind being able to hear him, wouldn't it be wonderful? 

Wait, Butter could do that now! He just had to wish for it to happen and make sure Pepper wasn't around when he did it. Experience told him he would inevitably faint after doing so. Darn it, it would have come in handy if he knew how long he was out for the last time he used the spell. 

"Butter? Butter?"

The kitten meowed; wagging his tail, he followed his mistress out the door. He hung back till they reached the venue, which now looked like the human version of Heaven. For his kind, it should have been eww. But if their expressions were any indication, the magic folk were as enchanted by it as their human counterparts.

Pepper stopped before stepping foot inside the lawn. It looked like it had rained roses the whole evening, transforming the area into a bouquet. Crouching just before stepping over the threshold, she picked Butter up. 

No. No. No. This is no good. 

"There are too many people here, Mr. Hart, I can't let him stay-"

Sal shook his head. "Actually, I was about to suggest that myself," he said, smiling at Pepper. 

Please be for real, Sal. For the love of Satan. Please. 

"Really?"

Butter wanted to reprimand his mistress for the condescending look she was giving Sal. Alas, if he spoke now, this thing- whatever it was- would end without getting a chance to bloom.

He had to get away from his mistress before she ruined her perfect date.

"Absolutely. I love cats. As a child, I had many. Thirteen, to be precise." Sal helped Pepper cross the threshold and enter the venue. "If it weren't for my unpredictable schedule, I would have had them still."

Pepper shook her head and looked at the man by her side. "You expect me to believe that?"

Sal's eyes narrowed. "Have I done something to offend you?"

"No.

"Then why am I sensing hostility?"

"Hostility? Ha!" The witch scoffed. "I dunno what you're talking about, Mr. Hart."

Butter wanted to cry. He wanted to hit himself. If he had been more involved in raising his mistress along with the late mistress Penny, Pepper's mum, she wouldn't have turned out so hard to please... and socially inept. Sigh. 

"Meow." Butter hoped Pepper could read his mood and understand the point he was trying to make. Alas, it fell on deaf ears. 

The same couldn't be said about Sal, though. 

"Ms. Woodgrip, I don't think Butter likes how this date is going." The celebrity scratched the kitten under his ear, making the latter purr. "I also think he likes me."

Yes, I do. I absolutely, positively do. 

The witch lowered her eyes to the golden furball in her arms. Butter grinned, making Pepper look confused. Maybe he should have relied less on his verbal ability and concentrated more on non-verbal methods for communicating with her. 

"He is grinning, how adorable!"

"You think?"

"Oh, I know. If you don't believe me, I can prove it."

"Prove that B is grinning?" Pepper arched her brow in disbelief.

"No. There is no way to prove that."

"Then what?"

"Prove that this little one likes me."

A sinister smile tugged at Pepper's lips. If Butter was still human, he would have broken out in cold sweat. But now he just felt like peeing. 

"Go ahead, Mr. Hart. Give it a try." Pepper turned towards Sal; her dark eyes glinting, she asked, "Say...why don't we make it interesting?"

"Ohhhhh, I like the sound of that." Sal guided the witch to a candle-lit table for two and pulled out a chair for her like a perfect gentleman Butter was sure the man was. "What do you propose?"

"If you can prove without a doubt that B likes you, I will give this date my best shot."

"I see a big but on the way. I am ready. Lay it on me."

"But if you can't, I will leave here now, return your gifts, and you will not approach me again. Ever."

"A good proposition. But it feels unfair. How about, if I lose, you get what you want. However, if I win"—Sal raised his hand and started counting on his fingers—"you have to stop calling me Mr. Hart and start calling me Sal. Graciously accept the gifts I have already given and not refuse any other gifts I might offer later. Lastly, you must promise to spend at least this week with me as your plus one."

"That's a bit much, don't you think?"

"It is. But you have the upper hand here. This adorable fellow is yours. He loves you above all, while I am just some random bloke who showed up at your door a couple of hours ago. So, do you feel lucky?"

Oh, no. Not good!

Butter cursed his placement in the grand scheme of things. If he took Pepper's side, Sal would leave, taking away his mistress's future happiness with him. But if he took Sal's, Pepper would never forgive him. As Butter saw it, he was about to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

Chapter word count: 1090