Letting Go When Love is Gone

An excerpt from Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man?


If at all possible, I want you to log on to YouTube and find the song "" by Gladys Knight and the Pips, and listen to it while you read the below lyrics. Anyone and everyone who has ever been married and divorced or loved someone who they had to let go of will be moved by the words to this famous song. Gladys hit every single point in this farewell message.

It's sad to think, we're not gonna make it, and it's gotten to the point, where we just can't fake it, ohhh for some ungodly reason, we just won't let it die, I guess neither one of us, wants to be the first to say good-bye.

I keep wondering (wondering) what I'm gonna do without you, and I guess you must be wondering the same thing too, so we go on, go on together, living a lie,

Because neither one of us, neither one of us, wants to be the first to say good-bye.

Every time I find the nerve to say I'm leaving, ohhh the memories, those old memories get in my way (my way),

Lord knows it's only me, oh he knows it's only me that I'm deceiving. When it comes to saying good bye, that's a simple word that I just cannot say.

There can be no way, there can be no way, this can have a happy ending (happy ending). So we just go on, hurting and pretending. And convincing ourselves to give it just one more try, because neither one of us wants to be the first to say it, neither one of us wants to be the first to say, neither one of us, wants to be the first to say, farewell my love, good-bye. ~Gladys Knight and the Pips

Letting go of someone you love is one of life's most painful experiences, but staying with someone who no longer loves you or staying in an empty, disrespectful, unhappy relationship is worse. It doesn't get better by ignoring it.

When love is gone, it's gone. It's like Humpty Dumpty falling from the wall and cracking into a million pieces, all the Kings horses and all the Kings men cannot put it together again. Love is the glue, cement and the nails that keep a relationship together, without it there is no relationship, it's reduced to two hologram images of people appearing as a couple.

Typically when love is gone and people remain in the relationship, both are emotionally numb, simply existing together every day until something gives, or until someone cheats. More often than not, the broken couple is waiting on that moment when they can exit without hurting the other too much or without losing too much and far too many are "waiting til the kids grow up" or until (------------------fill in the blank), as they allow the minutes, hours, days and years of their lives to slip through their hands.

It's always one person wanting to end it and the other holding on for dear life. Rarely are two people in agreement when it's time to go. Rarely does it happen when both the wife and husband sit down and say "you know, I think we should divorce and seek our happiness, we haven't been happy for years and we both deserve that" and the wife Jane says "you know Tom, I think you are right, I've been thinking the same thing for quite some time now, so let's sort this thing out, and by the way have you given any thought to what you would like to keep as far as furnishings, jewelry and cars go? What's a fair amount of child support? And how should we divide up these bills? Do you want Jason and Sabrina every weekend or every other weekend? I just want to be fair in everything. And considering our decision, we will just sleep in separate rooms and make the best of it until the divorce is final." Closing out the discussion, Tom says "I'm so glad we see eye to eye on this! We both know it will be hard but the love and respect we have for each other will carry us through". Jane says "absolutely so let's schedule to meet with the lawyer on Wednesday, how does that work for your schedule Tom?"