The Adventures of a First Year Middle School Teacher

A Month In

A month passed by and most of Sandra's classes were still doing great behavior-wise except for the fourth-period class which did everything to get out of the classroom and head to lunch early. Many of the teachers had already explained that it was natural for the classes that had lunch with you to be a little wilder than the rest. At the beginning of the class, they are distracted by their hunger and as soon as they entered the classroom would ask what the lunchroom is providing for lunch, and after lunch they are distracted and displaced by the change of atmosphere and the difference in energy between each setting. 

Sandra was able to get them back into the classroom and work after taking them to the restroom and quieting them down. This took around ten minutes to do which was fine with her because enough time had been added to that period to allow for them to do such things. A group of boys from that class were often found repeating the word "cheap" about everything because to them it was funny and while it did make Sandra laugh the first few times, it eventually got old, and were only doing it to disrupt class time. 

A couple of days before the end of the month, one of those boys, Tito, who enjoyed saying that word for everything and liked upsetting Sandra ran out of the room and into the lunchroom without waiting for the bell to ring after having taken another student's money. The whole class stood there in disbelief and looked at Sandra expecting her to do something. Sandra asked them to go ahead and go to lunch and that she would take care of what had just happened. An enraged Sandra was too upset to think straight as she walked to the lunchroom. 

As soon as she saw him, she asked him to step out into the hall that led to the lunchroom. After taking him out, she asked what had come over his mind and why he believed it was okay to do what he did. He would not look at her and would not respond. While working for Dr. Edmondson, she learned that she had to kids to look at her in the eyes to let them know the weight of their actions. She implemented that at that moment. She needed to let him know the importance his behavior had on his peers. She told him to look at her in the eyes and to explain why he had run out of the classroom with someone else's belongings. 

The young boy looked at her but did not speak at first. She then, in a different manner, prompted him to speak up and he replied that he did not know. She asked if he believed that he would get away with it. He shrugged his shoulders and did not reply back. She proceeded to let him know why he did not need to take things away from his peers and run off when the bell had not rung. She sent him to the principal's office and had him explain to the principal why he was sent there. 

Sandra went inside the lunchroom to seat down with her class once she walked Tito to the principal's office. Mrs. Mcmullins asked about what happened. Sandra relayed all of the details about what Tito did and that she had just sent him to the principal's office. They changed the subject of their conversation to a more pleasing one especially because they were sitting amidst the students and did not want them to hear much of what they were talking about. Instead, they spoke of their plans for the weekend. 

As it had been happening for the past month, she felt someone's eyes on her, and she knew exactly whose eyes they were as soon as she felt them. She looked over to the lunchroom bar where he was every time she felt those blue eyes on her. Their eyes met briefly and then pulled them away as he walked to pay for his lunch. Once he paid for it, he walked towards her and stood in front of her table. 

- " I saw you out there yelling at a kid." He laughed at the thought of it and did not know that she had it in her to do so. 

-" I was not yelling at that boy, and if I did it was because he did something he was not supposed to do." She defended herself as she met those eyes that she enjoyed looking into. 

- "You were definitely yelling. I am sure everyone in this school heard you." He goaded her and laughed at the thought of getting a rise of her again. The spark in her eyes lit and she seemed like she would again, but she did not. Instead, she rolled her eyes at him which only made him laugh again.

- "Don't provoke me again Blaine. " She had finally learned his first name and was on a first name basis with him. It helped that they had been playing a cat and mouse game. When he was not searching for her and making every attempt to spend time with her, she was doing the same. They used every excuse they could think of to visit one another whether it was in her classroom, the gym or outside, whenever he chose to take the kids out for physical education, or the hallways during their morning duties when the other did not have a duty. 

- "Go ahead and go eat your lunch before it gets cold." She said in a passive-aggressive sort of way that would make him smile and go on. 

- "Alright, I see. See you later." They both smiled as he walked away. Sandra began to remember the time that they had come to a first name basis but Mrs. McMullins interrupted her thoughts. 

- "He is so silly and so moody." She laughed as she said this which made Sandra wonder why she had said that he was moody and so she asked. 

- "Moody? Why do you think he is moody?" She wanted to know how he acted when he was not around her and in the presence of others. 

- "He just has his ups and downs. Sometimes he will say hi to me and sometimes he does not. I asked him once how he was doing, and he was really short with me. Apart from the fact that he is pretty short, he just acted short and cold. And other times he will be fine. I don't know, I could be wrong, but it just seems that way to me. " Sandra could tell that there was something else behind her opinion of him, but she did not want to inquire what else spur that opinion up. 

- "I have not noticed that about him, but you have known him longer than I have. How long have you been working here?" She asked trying to decipher if he changed after closer acquaintance. 

- "Four years now, so yes it could be that. But I also asked him one day to sit with my class because I had a doctor's appointment and he just flat out said no. And that was on my first year." She shook her head in disbelief of him. Again, Sandra believed that she had other motives to dislike him and did not continue the discussion about him because it did not matter to her what she thought of him. 

Today, the end of the first month, was long. She had not seen Blaine at all since he poked at her for yelling at Tito, and fourth period class was acting particularly louder. Though there were many good kids in there, the majority were loud and boisterous. It was as though they could not stand it anymore and felt the need to do something out of the ordinary. It was not just that. They were used to doing the work whole group meaning that they did not just want her to model the work they wanted to do all of it with her help which did not help Sandra know whether they were learning or not. 

It was not like the second period class who needed that help because of their limitations. They had no limitations and still they wanted her to practically give them the answer. She almost felt like giving up and just giving them assignments to complete and given them credit for completing it without truly checking for comprehension and to check for acquired skills. This presented her with a moral dilemma. 

With the second period class, she would sometimes wonder if she was helping them and whether she was teaching them anything because the test scores did not demonstrate the growth, she expected them to have gained. She began to blame herself for it and did not feel like a good teacher even though the special education teacher told her she was good with them. Her confidence was low, and she did not know how to help either group and doubted that she had the talents she believed she had to teach.