The ever so familiar sound of my alarm rang at 6 Am sharp, never hesitating to wake me from my sleep, and my dreams, and forcing me to become a functioning member of society. High school really does suck, regardless of what people tell you. Cliques, stress, and the responsibilities of growing up...no thanks. I'd rather just curl into a ball and go back to sleep.
My name is Angel Lancaster. I'm your cookie cutter, perfect good girl on the outside, but inside, Im just another suicidal teen telling other suicidal teens that suicide isn't the answer. Every day, after I finally pull my sleeves down, I cry myself to sleep. Because when the sun goes down, my friends sleep, the texts stop coming...it's just me and the darkness. It's then that the worst side of me comes out.
But I wasn't always this way, I really used to be that perfect good girl. Oh, and just so you know, the phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" is a filthy lie.
Because words do hurt.
My parents seemed to be getting concerned about me being so distant, so they have graciously forced me to eat a meal with them. My dad was the first to break the silence. "So, how was school today, Angel?" He says, twisting his pasta.
"I mean, it was alright, just really long." I'm trying desperately to just be freed from this conversation. My mom chimes in, as if things were bad enough. "How did that test go?"
"I think I got at least a B...?" I respond quickly, even though my answer is totally bull. The fake reassurance of my narcissistic mother comes into play. "Good job, honey, I knew you could do it."
Yeah...I didn't get a B...and school was not alright. It's a harsh world out there and I'm smack-dab in the eye of the storm. I can't tell my parents I'm not okay, I'm supposed to be their perfect little daughter. And I don't think they'll understand,
I tell them what's really going on, and I'll just get In trouble and, knowing my overachieving, flawless parents, practically be disowned. I guarantee. Girls will be girls, it's a law of nature, and what pisses me off is that nobody tries to stop it. But I guess there's nothing you can do to stop a natural disaster. My friends were getting thinner by the numbers, and I felt all alone. I mean, sure I like spending time by myself reading a good book, listening to killer music, but there's something about being alone by choice in those moments that's different. I don't mind being alone. But I don't fancy being lonely.
