Fantasies

Doomed

~
Emily Johnson
~

    Tears are gushing out my face as he touches me everywhere inappropriately. I didn't want this, I was simply here to serve drinks but not to do table. I hate it, I hate it so much. I'd rather die. I hate this.

     I was still resisting and struggling but I managed to slap him hard. I didn't know that it would anger him so much. As a result, he flipped me and I am now facing down. He unclipped my bra and started kissing me from my nape down to my ass. I was helpless, all I could do was accept it and think that this was just a nightmare.

     His left hand is now roaming in my left waist and it felt disgusting. He is now on the waistband of my underwear. As he was about to pull it down, the door opened and two bouncers came. Guess we've been here for fifteen minutes.

     When they pulled him away from me, I just stayed there, lying face down, crying. No matter how hard I try, I can't stop tears from flowing. One of my friends ran inside the room and immediately covered me with my coat. She repeatedly said "I'm sorry".

     I was sent home immediately and has been given a 1 week paid day off as a compensation. Even if I try to file a lawsuit against him, I know that I won't win no matter how hard I try so I just let it go.

     It has been a week since but I still feel like melting down whenever I remember it, dream about it or when any man gets close. For those days in the past week, my friends from the bar visit me every other day to cheer me up which works, at least it calms me down.

     As I was about to enter the bar, I wasn't aware that the news have spread and now reporters and paparazzis came, circling me. I tried so hard to hide my face but they just kept asking and asking, one even pulled my hand away from my face.

     Luckily, I managed to find an opening and I ran as fast as I could inside the bar. For the first time in one week, I checked my phone and I Immediately saw pop ups of the headlines of every news.

     "Look, a famous billionaire, __ was caught having an affair in a bar", Disgusting, as if.

     "A famous person was said to have raped a waitress in a bar in __ "

     And many other headlines. When I opened YouTube, I saw that the news was the hottest topic today and the camera had caught a glimpse of my face. When I look at the comments, some are defending me, saying that I was the victim but most are blaming me for ruining a happy family. They started calling me a whore, a slut, a bitch, and all of the insults you can think of. I felt myself crying again but Shiloh, one of my friends and coworkers, pulled the phone out of my hand.

     "Bitch, nothing good will come out if you kept reading those fucking comments, we all know that it wasn't true."

     "I know, I was just checking."

     "You know, if you're not comfortable here anymore, you should resign and look for a new job right? Or better, you already have enough savings until you finish college. So why don't you just wait and focus on those?" She asked.

     "Well I've been here for almost 4 years now, and I definitely got too attached to the people here so I don't think I can leave you that easily."

     "Don't worry about us. You can visit anytime, just find time to heal yourself first, okay babe?"

     I can only nod in response, she was right. It's not like they won't live without me.

     "Can you help me? To file a resignation, I mean." I asked.

     "Is that even a question? Of course!" When we went to our supervisor though, he told us that it is possible to resign but only when they found someone to fill up for my position which could take one month or more. I don't want to have a bad record in my working history so I just agreed. Not like I have much of a choice.

~

     I got home and met with my very angry brothers. These past week, I've done nothing but distract them just so they wouldn't turn the news on as well as use their phone. I turned the internet off, "accidentally" poured hot boiling water on my brother's MacBook and hid both of their phones, on airplane mode.

     "Why didn't you tell us?" Liam, My youngest brother, said with pure seriousness in his voice. Fuck, I'm so screwed.

     "I just- I don't know, didn't feel the need to?"

     They just stared me down, drilling holes into my skull. "I'm sorry, okay! I just didn't want you to feel worried about something that didn't even happen!"

     "Does mom know?" Silence, I answered him with silence. "I'm asking you Emily, does mom know?"

     "No, she doesn't." What scares me the most is that my other younger brother, Curt, isn't saying anything.

     "You're grounded unless we say so." Yeah yeah whatever, wait what?

     "The fuck do you mean grounded? You can't ground me!" I exclaimed.

     "Watch us, also, I want you to quit your job."

     "Already did" was all I could get out.

     Before they could say something more, I went to my room and took a shower. I freaking hate it when they act like they're older and I hate myself for acting so annoyed, like a freaking teenager throwing tantrums because your parents didn't allow you to do what you want.

     Both of them are younger than me and I don't know anything after that. Honestly, I don't remember anything that happened for the first sixteen years of my life. The oldest memory I have was when I woke up in the hospital 4 years ago where I saw Mom, and my brothers and how mom adopted and changed our names after that.

     Curt and Liam were only 3, almost 4, months apart. I know, weird right? They told me that when I turned 1, our parents really wanted another child but they failed, our biological mom wasn't able to conceive because of her health so they hired a surrogate, after 5 months, at the hospital when the surrogate is getting an ultrasound, she (our mom) fainted and learned that she was 2 months pregnant, which explains their age gap. Because of it, they were in the same year and were known as twins. Fraternal twins. Even our adoptive mom knows they're twins.

     Of course, as the older one, do you think I'll listen to my brothers? Heck no. So I did what they told me not to. I went out, well, for a jog. And bought all of their favorites because I know damn well that my brothers would tell on me and boy was I right.

     "Hi Mom! I bought you your fave!" I cringed at the way I talk. It was squeaky showing that I'm covering for something that I've done wrong.

     I'm doomed.