CybHer

Long Story Shorts 3

CybHER

Remember when we used to talk all day on AOL messenger?? Lmao we were such tweens listening to 50 cent and trying to force Letto to allow us to smoke?? We were so misinformed.

Tara, I felt invincible. Now its just like Im bored of tinder and X and dude I even made a Facebook Dating profile !!! dude Facebook dating is insane because that means Im picking from the pull of eligible bachelorettes in cyber form that I already know Arent eligible bachelorettes in my own area. I saw miffy on there and I was immediately feeling loser status and cat lady memes.

Whats your issue with miffy miss?? Shes just living her life like the rest. Just because you all didnt work out doesnt mean shes a loser.

Defending your cousin is honorable and noble and we all need family like you. Lol

Stfu, I listened to you whores argue about climate change and how symmetrical AOCs face was for over 6 hrs. while we drove to Miami.

Dude its not what she says that gives loser its how she presents, and you and I have shared a bottle of barefoot pink Moscato to discuss this.

True but I will always push back on loser status for kin. Its a noble duty.

I am simply saying it out of bitter realization my liege. Ttyl Im meeting Nani for drinks. Kisses. Love

Walking away from Tara, I knew it was nothing but complete malice I felt for miffy. We had been more than mates. Were a force of love to be reckoned with. Then she cheated on me with some chipper, red headed, brown skinned bohemian yoga student from her moms class.

Oh, but I forgave her for that. Then she cheated with the coffee barista from hoods coffee that always gives me slightly burnt lattes. Ohh yeah like an idiot I forgave her then too.

But the last straw was lacey. The 61 amateur boxer with a pirate tattoo that says arghhh you ready to rumble. Showing that being hit in the head multiple times for sport affects your decision making.

The thing that sucks more than constantly paying for closure therapy and never really finding closure is seeing miffy prance around town as if I meant nothing.

Did I mean nothing? Damn maybe I meant nothing. BRRRR BRRRR BRRRRR. My cell snapping me out of my own delusion its from Nani. Sorry I feel like shit, I cant make it to drinks. Can we try again next Thursday?

Shit, uhm I reply I guess with enthusiasm and assurance and emojis. Ohh and a I hope you feel better. Of course, no reliable friends to go out with. No girlfriend and its raining so home I go. This is why people have pets. Another weird human concept that Ive yet to fall into because well Im selfish and hate taking care of anything. Just being honest.

Why the hell does the door man of my apartment building always smell like fresh cut grass? Its so odd because I sneeze when I even glance at him. It never fails. In the 2 years Ive stayed here I sneeze every time I pass. And good old Walter always says, you allergic to my BS still? big toothy smile to follow. I always nod and give him the awkward chuckle.

Its like get a new thing to say or a new cologne. Im sick of his ass.

Grabbed my mail and of course the water bill 65.98. Why do we have to pay for something every one of us needs to live? Anyway. Junk. Junk. An invitation to a wedding I will awkwardly show up and dance and get free booze cool probably no plus one.

Whats this? CybHER Connections?

I open this thick envelope. As a person who enjoys stationery of all kinds the matte finish made this feel very important. The letter read.

GREETINGS NEIGHBORS AND POTENTIAL CLIENTS

CybHER Connections is an exciting and new experimental company looking to change, NO revolutionize the dating world. We are looking for 12 participants to try out our new dating app and prototype partnHER. We have chosen you from an anonymous list of potential pledges. Please consider our offer and join us for the roll out of this once in a lifetime opportunity.