Unfair Love

three

Anahis pov: after second period with I found out we had third period together, as well as her friend Tiffany. We had a substitute that day, so we didn't do much. "So, why did you move here all the way from Michigan?" Asked Tiffany.

I felt a weird stinging in my chest, and a knot began to form in my throat. I haven't really opened up to anyone about my mother's death. I could barely process it myself, so saying it out loud felt like a stab in the heart. I mean, just last month, we spent all day at the beach laughing at nonsense. I still can't believe that same night she committed.

I missed my mommy. It still felt like this was all just a bad nightmare, and I'm going to go home and find her in the couch sipping on coffee scrolling through her phone. It feels like we'll still go out every Friday night for dinner and just laugh all night enjoying each other's presence. She was all I had, and now she's gone. And she's never coming back to our home nor my arms. Ever.

"Personal issues." I said, my voice cracking and tears welling up in my eyes. God, this was so embarrassing, but I could physically feel my heart aching and a panic attack forming. I needed to get out of there as fast as I could.

I quickly walked out of the classroom and ran to the bathroom. I went to the furthest stall and called Nathan with shaky hands. After a couple of rings, he answered, confused. "Hey, wsp?" He spoke up on the other line.

"Nathan, please pick me up." I said, letting out a loud sob. "Okay, I'll be there in 10." He said, hanging up. I liked that Nathan never questioned me about anything. If I ever needed help, he was there for me no matter what.

I walked out of the stall and saw Billie scrolling through her phone, hitting a cart. Fuck was she here the whole time?
I just looked down and splashed my face with water. Suddenly, i could feel her stare. I didn't look at her, but I could feel her cold blue eyes just burning deep holes on the side of my head.

"u good mama?" She asked, lifting my chin up. I met her blue eyes and felt myself melt in her touch. "Yea, sorry I gotta go." I said, pushing past her and walking out the bathroom, making my way to the front office.

Did she just lift my fucking chin up??

I made my way to the office seeing a worried Nathan talking to the front lady. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked, cupping my face. I suddenly felt my knees go weak, and tears just fell from my eyes. He quickly got me out of there and walked me to his car, putting the seat belt on me. He got in and just drove off taking us home.

The whole car ride, my body shook with loud sobs escaping my mouth. I never cried like this in front of anyone, but I've just been hiding away my hurt and shoving down the realization that my mother really is gone the past month, that now it feels more real than ever. And it's tearing me apart. Faster than it ever has. She really is gone, and she's not coming back. This isn't just a silly little bad dream. It's the reality. I will no longer be able to go and hug my mom every time I feel alone. Because now, all that's left of her is the memories of her embrace, but that's never going to be enough for me.

Once he pulled up to our drive was I got out and Quickly went to my room, locking the door behind me. Why did she have to leave me all alone?

My head started pounding, and my vision got blurry. Suddenly, I found myself going through my drawer looking for the pack of blades I had bout a couple of weeks ago. I was 2 weeks clean, but I really needed to relieve my stress and hurt in some way, and this was the only thing I knew would help.

I slowly made my way to the bathroom that was in my room and closed the door, just in case Nathan came in. I sat on the cold tile floor and felt tears fall from my bloodshot eyes. I slowly took the small cold blade and pressed it against my skin. I slowly went deeper, wincing at the pain.

I felt my warm blood falling from my wrist and onto the floor, but I needed more.

I cut myself

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

And

Six

More times until I could feel my wrist go numb. I felt pain take over my wrist, and I just put a bandaid over the cuts and went to bed. That night had been the longest in a while.

837 words.